Controversial relationship coach says she's trying to help women 'inspire devotion'

A relationship coach has caused a stir online - by claiming that men don't want to listen to their partners' opinions.

Ellen Schultz, 48, known as @drellenlovecoach on TikTok, is a self-described love coach who uses her platform to provide advice on how to be ‘a happy wife with a happy life’.

Having previously achieved a PhD in Applied Theatre and worked as a drama therapist, Ellen decided to turn her hand to relationship coaching after undertaking her own research following a series of failed relationships.

She began posting relationship advice online and swiftly turned the role into a side hustle – and just before lockdown hit in 2020, she decided to because a full-time love coach.

Ellen said: “The issue is that the crux of my work can be controversial and provocative.

“Of course, your husband does want to hear your world views and opinions, we want to be able to have these long philosophical discussions, but because the woman is in this defensive competitive dynamic with her man it can spiral into a conflict very quickly.

“While on a collective basis women are fighting the patriarchy, on a personal level women are also fighting with their husbands and fathers.”

Ellen, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, began looking into the relationship dynamics between men and women following a series of heartbreaks throughout her twenties and early thirties.

As a fan of Sex and the City she says she was influenced by the ideas on the show and believed she should be able to find a devoted partner just by going out, and together they could live happily ever after.

After becoming a single mum in her twenties and again in her early thirties, she began to wonder what the issue was and began using books, online courses, and webinars to find the missing pieces in her relationships.

Through introspection, she discovered issues related to her own behaviour and mindset in relationships – so when she reconnected with a former colleague who she had known for ten years, she felt ready to commit to the relationship she had always wanted.

However, after Ellen and Josh Schultz got married in 2013 following a year-long relationship and year-long engagement, she found they were getting into fights and arguments following the wedding and she struggled to understand why.

Ellen decided to look back into relationship books and courses and even worked with relationship coaches – and it was then that she realised it was something she could do herself.

With a background in theatre, she knew she was confident on camera and began sharing relationship content on Facebook as a side hustle in August 2018 – before becoming a full-time love coach in October, 2020.

Now, she uses TikTok to make videos focusing on relationships – with a particular focus on how to be ‘a happy wife with a happy life’.