Fellowship of Guelphissauga: Students INVADE the Mayor's Selfie Photo Tour on Move-In Day | Sep 2023

The Fellowship of Guelphissauga continues with the Mayor going on a Labour Day Selfie Tour to bring awareness to the Housing Cost Crisis.

His goal was to hammer out an entire week's worth of Virtue Signalling Selfies in a single day. That way he could slowly release the selfies once a day on Xwitter, and enjoy the rest of the week off.

Seven selfies, seven locations, all done in seven hours. The Mayor had a genius plan, all he had to do was stay on schedule to pull it off.

Can Carly of Klassen and the Elder Elves do anything about the Housing Cost Crisis and will the Mayor complete his Cross-Town Selfie Tour on time?

The Mayor was confident in the plans he laid out for completing the seven hour challenge.

By putting in the the old college try, he counted to 7 and booked his meetings across the Shire for a single day.

He had limited time, but he wanted to do all events in one day of work so that he could take the rest of the week off. He mapped out his locations and noticed it made a shape of a letter S.

“S for Strong Mayor Powers!” he joked as he drew a line north to south, connecting the dots on his map. He set his YIMBY brand alarm clock for early the next day and fell asleep.

“Buzz, Buzz, BUZZ” screamed the Mayor's alarm as it woke him the next morning at 6:00am.

He set his alarm an hour before his first selfie photo-shoot meeting with Lloyd of the Longfields.

The Mayor knew Lloyd would be up early since he's the oldest person on his list of bookings, and would be riding his bike near Guelph Lake in the morning.

With his camera fully charged and a selfie stick on his back, the Mayor jumped in his car by 6:30am, sped across town, and found Lloyd on a bumpy road in the north end of the Shire.

The Mayor snapped his selfie with Lloyd, and then tried to get onto his next meeting.

It took him longer than expected since Lloyd kept rambling on about the $1.8 milliom the Lord of the Liberals spent on harm reduction around substance use in the Shire.

He eventually said “Have a good day, Lloyd.” as the Mayor hustled back to his car.

The second meeting, scheduled for an hour later, was another visit at Grace Gardens in the north end of the Shire.

There were rumours that Christia of Freelander, the Lord of the Liberals' right hand gal, would be there helping the homeless.

If she was there or not, either way Grace Gardens was the perfect second location for a selfie.

The Mayor loved staging events there to show how those few dozen housing units will fix the housing cost crisis and lower the cost of rent across the Shire.

He drove down Woodlawn Road without any delay and had enough time to grab a coffee at the McDonalds on the way.

The Mayor pulled into Grace Gardens at 8:45am, got out of his car, and walked around Grace Gardens awaiting Freeland's grand arrival.

After walking around for 10 minutes and finding no one to talk to, the Mayor took a seat on a bench and took out his Gameboy. He figured he could check in on the state of his European Inspired Simcity while he waited.

He loaded his game and his screen started flashing red with the words “EARTHQUAKE , INCOMING EARTHQUAKE!”.

It took a bit for the Mayor to catch on, but he eventually clued into the severity of the warning as his coffee splashed over beside him.

He forgot that it was Move-In Day where all the students arrive in the Shire.

The Mayor looked up and realized he was slowly getting surrounded by a zombie phone-watching army of homeless students.

Turning into a think wall of people, if the Mayor didn't stay clear, the growing mob of students would slowly overtake him. He got up and starting pushing through the crowd towards his car.

As he broke a sweat the Mayor arrived at at his car, jumped inside, and sped off. But unfortunately he didn't get too far.

It's still Construction Season in the north end of the shire, so Speedvale Bridge is always under construction. As the main bridge for travelling in the north end, it was, of course, blocked off.

The Mayor sat in his car at the road block, with the wave of homeless students coming his way.

He sighed in defeat, and said “Hey, might as well get a selfie!” as he pointed his camera at Grace Gardens in the background.

The Mayor knew the only way to his next meeting downtown was if he kept pushing through the growing wall of students by foot. He got out of his car, and headed south into the crowd.

An hour later, the Mayor had made some progress south. He shoved through the crowd of students as he approached the edge of downtown.

To his surprise, a calmness overcame the crowd, as a line formed around the Mayor and he was getting marched single file towards a series of tables.

Like an army of ants, the Mayor joined the students as they were given hot food and warm clothing. All he could do was accept it with kindness as he took a selfie while marching downtown.

As he passed by the big church, the Mayor snagged another selfie at the iconic location.

With a full belly and worn down shoes, the Mayor was determined to finish his cross-town selfie tour even with the students taking over town.

Now at the centre of downtown, the Mayor was in the calm of the Storm in the empty dining district.
The restaurants were closing their patio spaces and the streets were quiet.

The Mayor walked several blocks in silence until he finally saw a man on a corner with a bicycle. He approached him slowly, worried that he might be part of the Yiga Clan.

“Good day!” said the Mayor as he got within earshot.

““Yo brother, do you like my ride?”, the man replied as he pointed to his three wheeled bike. “100 bucks, and it's yours.”

The Mayor chuckled at the offer and snapped back with “50 bucks is all I got.” The man replied “50 will do” as he dismounted the bike and walked forward.

The Mayor wasn't serious about the deal until he recognized who he was talking to: it was the Off Leash Dog Puncher.

The Mayor didn't want to miss with him, so he bought the bike anyways. He thanked the man as he took a selfie to mark the deal. The man did his best he hide his face in the photo.

The Mayor got on his new hot bike and peddled his way south towards the University for his next selfie shot.

The mayor barely made it up Gordon Street hill as the University's Ivory Tower appeared on the horizon.

He biked through Johnston Green and into the heart of Move In Day. Luckily, he ran into his old pal MS, who was also taking selfies on campus for move-in day.

The Mayor snagged a selfie with MS and more with students as he headed south through the student crowd.

----XXXXXX-----

But the Mayor wasn't out of the woods yet, the growing student crowd from the north was nearing his location again.

A large dust cloud was growing on the horizon as MS pointed it out. “Look, Climate Change!” he screamed as he packed up and ran towards his car.

The Mayor knew this was his chance and asked for a ride from Mike. He agreed, and they headed off.

In the rush, the Mayor forgot his new bike in the racks on campus, but he didn't care.

It took them an hour to get across town due to the construction and MS getting distracted by Climate Change, but they eventually made it there. MS pulled up to the Mayor's house, and he exited quickly.

The Mayor arrived home at 10:30pm, tuckered out from the adventure.

His wife greeted him as he walked in the door and started asking him about the obvious. “What happened to you, Cam? Uh, where's the car?”

The Mayor chucked as he pulled out his phone, “Well honey, I've got one hell of a story to tell you..”

Can Carly of Klassen and the Elder Elves do anything about the Housing Cost Crisis and did the Mayor complete his Cross-Town Selfie Tour on time? Stay tuned here to see...

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What do you think?
Did the Mayor learn anything from his Selfie Tour?

(News Sources Missing)
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--- Violent crime up in Guelph---
https://kitchener.ctvnews.ca/violent-crime-up-across-the-board-in-guelph-tri-cites-statistics-canada-1.6498678
https://caughtinguelph.com/store-staff-assaulted-female-arrested/

--Road Closures--
https://caughtinguelph.com/road-closures-as-u-of-g-students-arrive-for-school-year/
https://www.guelphtoday.com/local-news/city-to-close-south-end-road-for-four-weeks-7459815

--Mayor's Black Shirt Tweet---
https://twitter.com/CamGuthrie/status/1697257809732395075

--MoveIn Vehicles Stolen--
https://caughtinguelph.com/moving-in-u-of-g-students-family-has-vehicle-stolen-in-guelph/
https://caughtinguelph.com/adult-tricycle-stolen-thief-caught/

---Indecent Male--
https://caughtinguelph.com/male-sought-following-indecent-act/

--Goods Exchange Weekend--
https://caughtinguelph.com/goods-exchange-weekend-in-guelph-september-1-4/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Guelph/comments/16am9cp/signs_that_its_student_movein_weekend/

--4.3 Earthquake--
https://caughtinguelph.com/did-you-feel-it-southwestern-ontario-4-3-earthquake/

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