How To Be Less Defensive In Relationships (9 Steps That Really WORK) (4K)
Let's be real - I know how it feels when someone says you're being too defensive. It's like, "Me? Defensive? You're wrong about that!" I've watched so many videos on this topic to help my own defensiveness...and none of them give you actual tools and scenarios that you can apply and work through! This video is different. Using hundreds of hours of therapy, research, and practice in my own life, I've condensed it down to 9 steps that actually work to help us remain calm, and not jump to defense mode every time we're triggered. It's just you and me here, working on getting better at this whole relationship thing, step by step. I've been there (and find myself back here again very often), and if I can make these changes 2 degrees at a time, so can you. Let's tackle this together.
0:00 - intro
1:48 - outlining what we will cover in this episode
3:13 - 4 steps to being less defensive when someone suddenly says or does something to trigger you
3:45 - step 1
4:22 - step 2
7:33 - step 3
9:40 - step 4
13:27 - 7 tools to immediately help you be less defensive, and cool down
19:49 - 5 steps to be less defensive when someone is sharing how they feel as a result of something you did or said
21:03 - step 1
25:50 - step 2
26:48 - step 3
29:00 - step 4
30:06 - step 5
The book mentioned in this episode that has been a great help when it comes to communicating through defensive postures is "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss: https://a.co/d/37qeFsD
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Join the conversation by DM'ing with your biggest takeaways, or just to say hello, and follow along on Instagram! @accidentallyintentional or @zoeasher
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