The Catholic Midlife

We often think we are making choices, but really it’s our past, our worries and fears, our habits, our trigger behaviors, or our doubts that are making the choices for us. We are hijacked by our past without us even realizing it. Because when we make choices, we are always filtering them through our past experiences. What we learn from those experiences tends to create what the “facts” are for us. Sometimes in coaching, we call this the YOU-Bag. It’s like a backpacking bag on your back: you can’t see what’s in it but you feel it. Often others can see some things in there that you can’t. We have a pack full of unconscious beliefs that drive our behavior. It’s helpful to bring them up to our full awareness so we can see if these drivers need to be updated or replaced. Learn more about conscious choice and the illusion of choice by listening to this week’s podcast! Contact Info Text us: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: The Catholic Midlife Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Awareness is a discipline, meaning a kind of excellence that you could cultivate, that shows up in a few different contexts. Awareness is the ability to know “what is”. It’s the ability to discern what’s actually happening from your mind’s interpretation of what’s happening. In a sense, it means being present versus seeing a situation from the past. We have a catalog of past experiences and those can dominate our minds to the point where we don’t “see” what’s in front of us. Awareness includes the ability to sense what’s driving your behavior in a given situation, realizing that our unconscious and semi-conscious thoughts are often taking the lead role in our behavior. The Examen is a great Catholic tradition that can help us bring awareness to our lives if we are asking good questions. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Serene acceptance is radical acceptance. It sets the stage for our most powerful action and divine cooperation. There’s nothing passive, woe-is-me, or giving up when we practice serene acceptance. It shifts us immediately to see what might be possible. What you are resisting about life? When you are busy rejecting, resenting, resisting, or glumly resigning yourself to a situation, ask yourself: What am I resisting here? What does acceptance look like in this situation? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Our modern ideas about discipline are deeply impoverished relative to the days of the fathers of the church. When we think of discipline, we think about a general disciplining the troops, the principal dishing out punishment, or the need to persevere to complete a hard task. Yet these are only one part of discipline. Jesus invites us to be his disciples. Disciples are invited to be much more than soldiers following commands or workers pushing through long hours. The bigger meaning of “discipline” still survives in some parts of our language. For instance, we talk about the scientific disciplines or disciplines of the arts. Mastering a discipline is work, yet it also creates freedom in ourselves because we become free to practice that discipline even as we master it. As the disciple matures, she is able to practice like the master, with increasing joy, confidence, and creativity. Being a disciple is a path to increasing freedom, joy, and confidence. Getting focused solely on the sacrificial aspects of discipleship is to miss out on all the best parts! Listen and join the conversation. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Boy! It’s hard to hope! The challenges of the present age overwhelm us, and we worry, we fear, we become discouraged and defeated. As Christians, we grasp onto the cosmic hope of Christ and struggle to make it our own. Hope itself is a contradiction, a stance in the midst of uncertainty, and a refusal to avoid the tension of being human. We strive to do what Abraham did, trusting “against all hope, but still in hope.” (Romans 4:18) Friends, hope is always with us, always around the corner. Let’s encourage one another in hope. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Our hope is too small. Scripture reveals a hope that embraces all of creation cosmically reordered and recreated as an interlocking of a new heaven and new earth. We are so individualistic, so atomized in our culture, that we can hardly even understand what we read in the New Testament when it comes to hope. Remember Romans 8 where all of creation groans as it waits for the revelation of the sons and daughters of God? That’s a hope that’s COSMIC in scope. It’s beyond “me and mine.” Karen discusses some of the images that Scripture uses to convey this hope on a great big grand scale as big as creation itself. Listen to get a grip on hope at the cosmic scale. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

“I’m gonna answer the call. I am willing to use my gifts. I am going to choose my greater potential.” Magnanimity is the greatness of the heart. It is fundamentally conceived in terms of vocation and stewardship: it is a response to God’s call, and willingness to use his gifts. As Aquinas says: “Magnanimity makes us deem ourselves worthy of great things in consideration of the gifts we hold from God.” I sometimes fear we have become too passive and looking inwards inside the four walls of our parish churches. Magnanimity enlarges the heart. It’s what the other human virtues are perfecting, and it’s the human virtue par excellence that sets us up to receive the supernatural virtues of hope, faith, and love. We don’t hear a lot about this virtue these days. Join us as we dare to hope and aspire. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Gratitude kicks off a cycle of positivity in your relationships because it engenders the same response from other people. We all need to remind ourselves of the good things we have because our lovely brains have a big negativity bias that will take over unless we actively resist negativity. Easter is a season to embrace new hope, and to look at the world with new eyes of faith. Appreciation and gratitude are wonderful Easter virtues. Gratitude can elude us as we suffer through this present age of creation yet we have received much from God, including our life and eternal joyful life. Gratitude refers to an emotion and an action.We all know that experience of feeling a depth of gratitude for someone or something in our life. It's also a habit that we cultivate to get our minds focused in the right direction. When your emotions and actions aren't lining up, you've got some fixing-up to do. Gratitude acknowledges and appreciates the good and the positive. Contact Info Text us: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: The Catholic Midlife Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

You weeded the garden in Lent. Now it’s time to plant some seedlings. Try out something new. Reconnect with your experience of awe to open your heart up to something new. God always has something new for you. Something just for you. You were busy cleaning your house in Lent. Now the Holy Spirit is here and waiting to engage you in new ways. Awe is a universal human experience that catapults us out of the every day into the realm of the extraordinary. It lifts us beyond our me-centric view into a God-centric, and us-centered state of mind. We experience awe when we see others act with extraordinary moral courage, kindness, or service. Or we connect with awe in nature or perhaps great art. Awe brings us to Wonder, which leaves us open with curiosity in God’s universe, alert to opportunities in our life. Easter is the time for new initiatives! To plant new seeds. Let’s get our hearts opened up, directed outwards, sensitive to the eternal and the new. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

When we read the Lord’s Prayer with the understanding that it’s a prayer for the Kingdom of God now and forever, we can grasp how “forgive us our debts” is a reflection on how the Kingdom of God operates. It’s a kingdom where forgiveness is offered and received. We are all reconciled with God and each other. That’s why we are the people of peace: we are living our vocation of forgiveness. Join us as we discuss this profound part of the Lord’s Prayer. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Teach us, Lord, how to pray. And we got this remarkable prayer that’s so very short. How can it be called a summary of the Gospels? The key is to understand how to pray it with the end in mind. Remember that life tip that says “Begin with the End in Mind”? When we keep the end in mind, then the petitions make more sense. “Hallowed be Thy name” can sound like “don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.” But what it’s really getting at is that we want God to come more fully into his creation now. We are asking Him to do the things that make his name Holy, in anticipation of when he arrives fully present in His creation. Learn why the Lord’s Prayer is an eschatological prayer, and how to set yourself up to pray it as a follower of Christ. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

The Lord’s Prayer is the most perfect Christian prayer, and in this episode, we discuss creating the right mindset for this beautiful prayer. Watch out! We’ll be tackling big scary things like ‘eschatology’, ‘eschatological dualism’, and ‘2-stage eschatology’–but only to find out they’re not so scary after all. We don’t know exactly what God’s future will look like, but we do know some things, and we know enough to pray for it to come in the power of the Holy Spirit. Learn why the Lord’s Prayer is an eschatological prayer, and how to set yourself up to pray it as a follower of Christ. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

From the earliest days of Christianity, people recognized there was something very important and special about being given the words of the Lord’s Prayer. Peter Chrysologus was teaching it to some newly baptized Christians and he said: “The angels stand in awe at what you are going to hear today.” I think to the modern Christian, the kind of praise and reverence that early Christians showed to this prayer is not in our experience and if we think about it is surprising. I won’t say ‘we treat it like an old sock’, that’s not true. . . but there is a sense of familiarity that has come about that is not at all like how the early Christians approached it. Join us in a relaxed conversation as we start to open ourselves up to the depths of this profound prayer. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

SHARPen up your marriage! We have some high-level tips for you. S is Shared Vision or Story. H is healing in your marriage. A is attend to the marriage bond. R is the R-word, you know what it is: Relationship! Brush up on your R skills! Be a better friend. P is for personal growth. Gotta grow. When you grow, you will bring new energy to the relationship. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Husbands really, really want to please their wives. C’mon, I mean, St. Paul even warns us about it! Laura Doyle wants wives to believe it and lean into it by telling their husbands what would please them. The trick is to do so without being demanding or unpleasant. Listen in for this how-to marriage tip! Referenced Materials Laura Doyle, The Empowered Wife, Updated and Expanded Edition: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband's Time, Attention, and Affection 2023, BenBella Books. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Much of what is taught about having a great marriage is not very helpful, according to marriage guru John Gottman. He says one of the biggest keys is to learn how to cultivate a deep friendship. He writes, “I rarely see small moments of connection in the tapes of couples who later divorce or report their marriage has permanently soured”. Cultivate a connection with the habit of “turning toward” your spouse. There are big moments, like being asked to do something that takes a lot of time; you are not likely to miss those! Be in the habit of also paying attention to the many small moments where you can turn toward your spouse. When they talk to you, give them your full attention. When they point something out, check it out. Look for these “bids” for attention, affection, humor, or support. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Our “maps” of who we “know” our husband or wife can get outdated. We have assumptions about them that are not true anymore. We could ask better questions: curious, open-ended questions that are gentle and inquisitive. We give you some good ideas about how to ask those questions. We also discuss the five levels of sharing. It’s surprising how seldom we reach the deepest levels, even after many years of marriage. It’s a lot easier to stay at the medium levels, like making your preferences known, because going deeper can be more risky. We can’t expect our husband or wife to keep up to date on “who I am now” if we don’t share at the deepest levels. Revealing ourselves is part of discovering the depths of each other. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

If you are struggling with your goals, we offer you five common reasons that goals are not accomplished. One of them is that our goal does not require taking measurable actions, so we don’t know if we are executing our plan. For example, if you have a goal to improve a certain relationship, that could be a wonderful intention but it does not require any measurable actions, so it’s not a goal. But if you thought about that relationship and decided that you wanted to have better conversations, then you are getting closer. What action could you take for better conversations? If you read a relationship book, you might realize that there are skills to being a good listener. You could list those skills and track how consistently you practice them, and how many times you missed opportunities to do so. You might use a checklist, a journal, or capture notes to your daily planner. Now you’re cooking. Join us as we discuss other common reasons you might not be achieving your goals! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

We often lack what’s needed to actually make changes. In other words, we often have a goal and do not realize we are not ready to chase that goal. So we are not successful in creating the change. I think all of us have experienced that!! It’s not as easy as “just deciding” to do “it.” Karen shares the four requirements for change. The first one is to GET RID of the baggage that’s associated with the change. Join us as she explains what that means and shares the other three requirements for change. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Today’s episode is an EXERCISE to create great goals for yourself. Jump in and try it! As we practice the virtue of living in the moment (episode 101) we might wonder: Am I doing what I’m meant to do at this time? Having great GOALS helps with this question. What if you had great, inspiring goals? A strong direction? Often our goals are a glorified to-do list that provides little true direction. “Gotta do more better” is not inspiring and it’s not a great strategy for actually doing better. Join for a few minutes to get some new ideas for goals in your life! Because life is growth and growth is change and you have goals; the question is are they conscious and in focus or just sorta meh goals? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Living in the present moment is a habit to help us reach for interior peace and integrate our lives. God is never early, He’s never late, He’s always right on time. God’s grace is found in the present moment. If you are in the present, as Jaques Philippe says, you “entrust the past to the mercy of God and trust the future to His providence, doing just what is required of you today,“ and that helps you receive grace, because “sterile regrets, rumination on the past, and worries about the future cut us off from divine grace.“ Peace and grace that’s what we need. Listen in as we discuss why this skill is invaluable and give some pointers on how to better practice this habit. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Listen to catch some new thoughts about the way you think about time! The modern mind thinks of time as a commodity. As a tool or a resource. There’s a limited amount of it. We have a lot of sayings that reflect this viewpoint, such as “time is money.” Or “living on borrowed time,” or “it’s about time.” But time is more than another object we use. Time was created by God as a way for us to participate in eternity. We often think of time as the enemy, as something we compete with, or as an unstoppable force. We could, however, learn new perspectives that lead us to trust in time, to value it as our participation in eternity, and to connect the past and the future together in the present moment by way of narrative. Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecatholicmidlife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

Christ is born to be King! He IS King, now. Merry Christmas! That makes us agents of the New Creation because Christ has already started the New Creation. Paul talks about this a lot. God wants to dwell with man and will bring heaven down to earth and they will exist together in the new creation; think of the New Jerusalem descending in Revelations. Christ, he says, is the “first fruits” of the new creation. He’s the first to be resurrected, to show us the way. He’s sent the spirit to us, and we, too have the “first fruits” of the new creation. Creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God; for… creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. -Romans 8:19-24 “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind. But be glad and rejoice for ever in that which I create; for behold, I create Jerusalem a rejoicing, and her people a joy. -Isaiah 65:17-18 All of creation is groaning, awaiting its deliverance! We suffer with Christ and with the world, which is God’s kingdom, just as Christ suffers with us and with all creation. We are Christ’s children and heirs; we enter into his suffering and are glorified with him. You did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. -Romans 8:15-17 We have a vocation of being the people of God. It has personal and communal consequences. As Paul says, Jesus is king of the whole world. In heaven and earth he reigns. And when we're in Christ, we're fellow heirs to the kingdom. We're celebrating the new creation. We're celebrating that we are part of the new creation. We are agents of the new creation, and we anticipate the new creation right now in the present age as we wait and hope for the new heavens and the new earth. Always God hears the “groaning.” God is victorious. God acts, and we are anchored in the hope and glory that is there for us, and nothing can separate us from the love of God. No principalities, powers, rulers of the world - whatever it is, nothing can separate us. Merry Christmas season! Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

You are a citizen of Heaven - did you know that? Paul wrote that in Philippians 3. What does that mean about my situation? Paul’s listeners in Philippi would have instantly connected that idea to being a citizen of Rome because having Roman citizenship was so important. Philippi was a colony. Roman citizens there were agents and emissaries of Roman culture, law, language, customs, and power. Roman citizens living in Philippi weren't interested in leaving Philippi and going to Rome if things got dicey. They could call on the emperor to send in back-up. John’s gospel, which is our focus this season, explains that Jesus has already started his kingdom on Earth. You are a citizen of that kingdom. That makes you an agent and emissary of the Kingdom of Heaven’s culture, law, language, customs, power, and all of it. Citizens living on planet Earth aren’t interested in leaving Earth just so they can go to Heaven. God will bring Heaven down to Earth in the end times. That’s a process that’s already started. Jesus inaugurated it. He rose again as the first member of that blended new creation of Heaven and Earth. We will follow him. Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. - Philippians 3:20 Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: The Catholic Midlife Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholicmidlife/ Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/

There’s a theme that you may not be aware of that runs through the entirety of scripture from the distantly ancient text of Genesis to the merely ancient text of Revelation. You’ve heard of this idea but may not be aware of how it is an organizing principle for understanding Scripture. It’s a theme explicitly present in the ancient books of Genesis and Exodus and throughout the New Testament - it’s one that the writers were very intentional about but one that our modern minds simply bloop over because we don’t have the right lens, or I could say cultural framework. We were amazed when this theme popped up in Genesis, it’s the theme of TEMPLE in God’s creation and that’s what we discussed last week in episode 94. A temple is a place where God dwells with man: it’s a place where the heaven and earth that He created overlap. Throughout all of salvation history, as shown in Scripture, God keeps coming to Earth to dwell with man in Creation. In the Garden, in the desert at the tent of meeting, and in the Tabernacle. As we approach Christmas we think about what it means for the temple to be in the person of Jesus. What does that mean to see him as the new temple? Contact Info Email or text us: Text: The Catholic Midlife podcast: 612-208-9150. Email us: TheCatholicMidlife@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theca... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecatholic... Website: https://thmlcoaching.com/the-catholic-midlife-podcast/