Freedom River Church

The Apostle Paul has taught us that marriage and singleness are both gifts from God that are intended to enhance our lives and move us toward our purpose. In this passage Paul moves us a step further by introducing the concept of marriage being considered as a "call" (special assignment) from God. This is certainly a radical departure for our quick-release culture. We seem to be captivated now-a-days with changing our situation. God wants us to realize that we can't always change our situation, but we can accept our assignment.

Everything in marriage is designed to promote the dynamic concept of two becoming one. There is no longer a his/her section in your life. It is not easy to merge your life with another. That's why Paul calls it a "gift." No room for selfishness here!

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness as well as in health, 'til death shall part you..." These are the vows we take when we get married. They reflect the covenant that has now been entered by the couple. Sadly, the depth of this covenant is not understood by our modern culture. In marriage, two are supposed to become one. So why do so many couples struggle to stay together?

The Fire of Passion The desire inside you is not dirty or defiled – it's pure. The trouble comes when passion gets displaced. The passion God put in you to help move you to your purpose can cause great pain if it's not managed correctly. In verse 9 many Bible translations say, "But if they CANNOT control themselves, they should marry...." A better translation would be, "But if they ARE NOT controlling themselves..." It's not that you CAN'T control it – it is that You WON'T control it.

Paul's conclusion for passion that is not being controlled is to simply get married. Boy, can we really oversimplify some struggles. The Church has two words of instruction for the singles. One is DON'T SETTLE. This is an encouragement to reject compromise and hold out for the right one. The second word is DON'T SIN. The inference here is unmistakable. Don't give in to the temptation to violate sexual boundaries. But what about THE STRUGGLE?!

Duty – is this the most unromantic sounding word ever? It is interesting that God doesn't say anything about fulfilling sexual DESIRE. Why? It's because desire is intended to be a by-product - not a goal. What's He saying? It's not about you! Desire can light a fire, but only duty can keep it burning. If you are single, your singleness is a gift from God. If you are married, your marriage is also a gift from God. Both relational positions are A gift, but THE greatest gift is grace. No matter which gift you have, you're gonna need grace.

The Corinthian Church put together a list of questions for the great Apostle Paul. Questions like: Is it ok to be single? What about widows remarrying? Are single people more spiritual than married people? Is it better to be celibate? ... and so on. Paul spends 6 chapters preaching to them BEFORE he begins to answer any of their sanitized concerns. Quite often, there is a huge difference between the questions we ask and the REAL issues we are dealing with. God is not nearly as concerned about answering our questions as He is in dealing with our issues.

Ezekiel 38-39 tells of a future invasion of Israel by a vast coalition of nations that surround it. As we watch the images in news reports and witness the conflict in the Middle East, it's not hard to imagine that this invasion prophesied over 2600 years ago could be fulfilled in our lifetime. IS THIS IT?!!!

Our Good Shepherd not only provides for us and protects us, but He also makes us three promises concerning our future with Him.

One of the major teachings of the Scripture is the protection of the shepherd for his sheep. In John 10 Jesus describes Himself as the Good Shepherd that is the door of the sheepfold. Our Good Shepherd protects us with three outstanding methods as we confront the enemy in our battles of life.

Psalms 23 is a revelation of what our Good Shepherd does for us in the battles of life. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...." This is a context of scary death stuff! This is not a walk through a field of dandelions. According to the Psalm, our Good Shepherd does three great things for us in the battles we face in life. The first benefit He supplies is Provision. The Good Shepherd provides three great benefits for us as we face the issues of life.

You are going to need to deal with your anger in marriage. You may have to take a few hours to cool off but when you return to dealing with the issue you must confront it in a loving and positive manner. Communication experts tell us that a conversation never rises above the level of the first three minutes. What you do in the first three minutes of a conversation sets that conversation up for success or failure. This message is about the process of reconciliation with your spouse.

God created marriage to be the most intimate relationship on earth. There can only be intimacy when there is total exposure and unhindered access. The nakedness that Adam and Eve had was total. It was physical, of course, but it was also psychological, emotional, and spiritual. The best understanding for "Intimacy" is an expansion of the word to say, "In-to-me-see." Any time you allow anyone to see into the real you; you are having an intimate moment.

The most enjoyable life in the world is a life that is based upon the Word of God and not upon feelings. The greatest life in the world is a life based upon the Word of God and not upon feelings. What are the decisions my spouse and I must make before we marry?

Marriage is not about coexisting in the same house. It's not about sharing children and a bank account. It is about sharing your life. You get married because you want to share your life with someone you love. Many people in failing marriages describe their marriage as "growing apart." In terms of marriage, that is an oxymoron. If it is growing, it is "growing together." If it is growing apart, it is dying.

The two MAJOR reasons we must serve each other are: 1, We can't meet our own needs 2. We are sworn to fidelity. This means (and let me use an analogy of a store) if my needs are not being met by my mate, I can't shop at other stores. If your shelves are empty, I can't shop at another store – (at least not legally.) Therefore, I am at your mercy. We are at each other's mercy.

From the very beginning God told us the truth about marriage. It is going to take a lot of work for marriage to be rewarding. Some people have the romantic misconception that, if they marry their perfect soulmate, they will not have to work at it. You fall in love because you work at the relationship. You fall in love because you serve each other. God created marriage to bless us and fulfill us. If you do not serve each other, it is not going to work.

God expects men to lead, and leadership is one of a woman's most important needs in marriage. Wives want their husbands to be the loving initiator of the well-being of home and marriage while treating them as equals. Both spouses must reprioritize their lives to make the marriage first place. Marriage only works in "first place." If it is second to anyone or anything else, it will not work. Allow your spouse to be honest, train your children to respect your marriage, and make time for each other.

As we begin this series concerning love, let me share a couple of broad statements: First, marriage is the safest relationship on earth when God's laws for love are honored. Secondly, you have a 100% chance of success and happiness in marriage when you honor God's laws of love! If half of the airplanes that were taking off from airports were crashing, it would be a sign of intelligence not to board one. With half of marriages failing, smart people are justified to ask, "Why would I want to do that?" That is a legitimate question. It is the question we seek to answer in this series of messages concerning God's Four Laws of Love. Let's demystify marriage!

Though God has given us His grace for our weakness, there are three crucial understandings of this grace that propel us to conquer our limiting weakness.

The Devil wants you to believe that God is repulsed by your weakness. God is in no way turned off by your weakness, but rather, He is attracted to it. Your weakness and God's strength is a perfect match! Grace is the solution for your issues. The answer is NOT performance, pretense, or practice. The answer is grace!

I'm convinced that the Christian life is not intended to be a mountain-top experience followed by drifting until the next mountain-top comes along. God wants us to GET on course and STAY on course, and He's given us principles and promises in His Word to assure us that we can!

I think God likes to surprise us! He must. Just look at the Christmas story. I say this respectfully (I don't want to become a crispy critter), but the events of the first Christmas seem to be a case study in poor planning. There has to be more to it than that. What happens when God shows up and changes the plan without consulting your itinerary?

There is a big difference between the way people look at weakness and the way God looks at weakness. People have the tendency to look at weakness as a liability. God looks at weakness as an opportunity for Him to show Himself mighty in our behalf. Your weakness and God's strength are a perfect match!

The major truth of this series is the fact that it is impossible to get closer to God than your concept of God will allow. If you don't believe God loves you and desires the best for you, then you are not going to come close to Him. You are not going to seek a God. One of the great truths of God's grace is the extraordinary understanding of the true heart of our Heavenly Father.