Dad Quote of the Day

Light, sound, liquids, and air move in waves. The closer you are to the source, the shorter the distance between the waves and the greater force they hit you with. That’s also how you know when you re getting closer to the breaking point of a situation. I am acutely aware of shifts in the barometer between high and low fronts. When a storm is forming even 100 miles away I can start to feel the pain in my nerves. Right now, we are in an information war between forces that want to stir up our emotions. The desire is to create confusion and then present their point of view as the solution. The more confusion and chaos you encounter, the greater peace and calm you must present in the face of the storm. Many times a week, I will put a little wine in a glass, take a small portion of bread, say a prayer for wisdom, and take Communion privately in my home. I especially do this when I am looking for wisdom or insight into how to handle something. I don’t care what it is that I’m dealing with. I will usually find something that I am grateful for and then the next step will come to me as I stay still and listen through the wind and chaos. Elijah heard a still small voice and that is how he knew when God was present. When he quieted his mind, he heard clearly. Thoughts from 1 Kings 19:1-14 Email me at info@dqotd.com

I saw a man that had sown into my life for many years when I was just a kid. We hadn’t seen each other in almost 20 years and it was a powerful flood of memories just to talk with him again. When you have something stored up in you, take the opportunitie3s that come to squeeze yourself out into someone else. You can never know the impact you could have in their lif3 decades later. Thoughts from Isaiah 60:3 Email me at info@dqotd.com

Restoration – definition 1. the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment. 2. the state or fact of being restored. 3. a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition. 4. restitution of something taken away or lost. 5. something that is restored, as by renovating. Restoration is the positive state of being and mind of having overcome a great loss. Why do I say a great loss? Nobody thinks about being restored from the damage of losing your ballpoint pen or not receiving enough napkins in their Drive-thru happy meal bag. There comes a point, based on our individual maturity and psychological strength where a loss overwhelms us. Even if that event is brief and we come out of it quickly, the residue could still affect us or our relationships, business, or finances for some time. That point is very unique and different for each of us. Just as the definition states restoration is an act. When they were younger, one of the kids had spilled a small bottle of chocolate milk in their bedroom. They hid it until it for a couple of weeks until I discovered it. I was very upset. They had done something like this before where they had spilled a bottle in their school backpack and soaked a bunch of things. I made them clean it up and thought that was the end of it. So, I never said anything to mom because I was handling it. Now when I discovered the carpet soaked in crusty, dried chocolate milk, I was extremely unhappy and they knew it. After I scolded them and explained all of the reasons why what they had done was wrong, I laid out their punishment. I took their iPad away from them until it was cleaned up, solely by themselves and only to my satisfaction. If they slacked off it would only delay receiving their iPad back. I didn’t care how long it would take but they wouldn’t get it back for days if they didn’t get the problem solved. Then, I told them they would clean it up and once they were done I would give them a high-five, a hug, and tell them that I was proud of them for cleaning it up correctly. Afterwards I showed them exactly how I wanted it cleaned, and what my expectations were by cleaning a portion of it myself. They went from crying and sad to determined to make it look as good as they could. And, they finished it in under an hour, even with my having them work harder on a couple of spots. When they finished, I gave them their high-five, a giant hug, told them I was proud of their hard work, and took her to the store with me so we could spend some time together. They felt so relieved and happy, they almost bounced in their steps. They had a feeling of accomplishment from being restored even though nothing was going to diminish my love for her and certainly not some spilt milk. Email me at info@dqotd.com

Getting our house in order is super critical in anticipation of next year’s economic challenges. We need to know that we are in a better place with our health, finances, emotional states, family relationships, end everything else.

Almost all of us have heard about 911 calls that took forever to have police respond because they other priorities at that moment. If you’ve ever seen Star Trek, when someone calls for help Mr. Scott immediately transports them to safety. Star Trek 2009 starring Christopher Pine is interesting because during an attack on Vulcan there is a space drill blocking transporters and communications. When it comes time to get things done, assume that nobody is coming to save you. There is no Mr Scott. There is no transporter. There is no easy road. You are going to need a team of people to achieve your dreams and goals. But you will first have to do the personal work on yourself in order to be able to have the team available when it’s the time. Thoughts from Psalm 34:4-7 Email me at info@dqotd.com

This is difficult to speak about. For almost 17 years my mom was in a physical decline. First, she had 2 brain surgeries, then over time dementia set in. Last week, my wife, girls, and I drove out to Toledo to pay our final respects. I was determined that it was not going to be a pity party for all the times we couldn’t be there because we lived so far away. Plus, my girls didn’t deserve that burden. I took my girls to the Toledo Zoo, The Toledo Museum of Art, and we spent much loved time with friends and family. We got to connect and reconnect with people from our lives long ago. But, as crazy as it sounds, we played and rested. Email me at info@dqotd.com

I was having a discussion with one of my kids about having breakfast at home versus school or eating out on the way to school. I told her that I knew when she ate and when she didn’t and I could even tell what she ate. That’s when she gave in and agreed to have breakfast. I fast for 12-16 hours every day and workout 4 times per week average. So I get it. She didn’t want to eat. But she’s also not eating correctly and I don’t want her health impacted. She’s misled me in the past, but my love for her is just like most dads’ love. You’re willing to cover over a bunch of screw ups as long as they keep learning. The stronger my love for my kids and my wife, the more I’m willing to discuss and correct rather than fly off the handle. Just because I love them doesn’t mean that they get a free pass. I have to model accountability and I expect them to live up to it also. Thoughts from 1 Peter 4:8 Email me at info@dqotd.com

Mental and physical exhaustion is rampant when you begin learning new skills. One of the most exhausting things was learning a new language. The amount of focus required to understand different accents and words, let alone humor, is intense. Physical exercise is the same thing. When you’re building muscle, one principle is that you lift until you reach muscle fatigue or fail so you maximize growth. It’s the same for our kids. They are constantly learning new things. We frequently get frustrated with them because they are tired of doing something when in reality they are fatigued mentally. We all know that too much fatigue without proper rest can contribute to illness. The same is true of our peace of mind. When we don’t refocus our efforts to recover our peace in the midst of the storm, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the waves that are around us. Email me at info@dqotd.com

I was listening to one of my daughters having a group discussion with some of her friends about what another young lady had told her was going on. As she wrapped up the discussion, they decided they would all connect tomorrow at school to bring it to a conclusion. She is determined not to be manipulated by anyone. Then one of her friends popped over to see how things were and I ended up being part of the conversation. I had an opportunity to briefly explain how our minds will protect us from an unpleasant truth when confronted, how people will lie with poor memory, and how behavior is truth. Email me at info@dqotd.com

Your kids are literal geniuses as they grow. They are balancing experience and the practical education of life. What happens to them is our responsibility as Dads and Moms to bring out the best in them. Email me at info@dqotd.com

Perseverance, Endurance, Steadfastness These are words we just don’t hear very frequently. Yet they are critical to understanding how we make it through our difficulties. The qualities of these coupled with peace makes you a very strong person on the other side of your impossibilities. Email me at info@dqotd.com

“Winter is coming” was the famous line from Game of Thrones. Discipline is something that seems harsh and difficult at the time we receive it. If you let it, it can make you stronger and bring about a harvest of strength, wisdom, and other benefits when you get onto the other side. The reality is that we are potentially facing an enormous financial and food crisis that will likely see tens of millions of people throughout the planet suffer greatly. We are here now. It is getting colder. Winter has come. Email me at info@dqotd.com Thoughts from Hebrews 12:11

I haven’t been sleeping well and my pain levels are heightened. I need to stay focused on my health both mentally and physically. As we are making travel arrangements to go to my mom’s funeral, my wife gave me a gift. Yesterday, she suggested instead of driving, that we fly instead. I can drive the 10 hours. No problem. But, she pointed out that I’m still recovering form GBS and that I needed to be functional on the other end of the trip. I know me. I will lock things down and push through. There are times when that is the wrong approach. This is one of them. I need to allow myself time to grieve and heal. One thing I’ve done is picked up a copy of @garretjwhite ‘s Warrior Book. It’s a mind blowing guide to expanding your capacity, effectiveness, and becoming an even greater man. Email me at info@dqotd.com

It’s so important we develop the balance of Conscience and Intuition to create Wisdom. It takes time for us to grow into good decision making, self-discipline, and self-awareness. It’s easy to see where communities are constructive and creative versus those that are destructive and crime ridden. Thoughts from 1 Kings 3 & 4 Email me at info@dqotd.com

For a number of years my mom was sick and she became progressively worse and more difficult to take care of. My sister Johanna performed seemingly Herculean feats to take care of her, at great personal expense, over a decade. My sister Rachael was a rock for Jo and me. Andrew traveled 1000’s of miles over the years to comfort and care for her. I’m a son, a brother, a husband, and a dad. Being a dad, I needed to consider my girls’ well being before breaking the news to them. I explain my thoughts inside. Email me at info@dqotd.com

I’m in the process of creating some really cool materials for kids and families. I’ve been working with my eldest daughter on this and I wrote an Ad Lib for fun. After having coached people for so long, our lives are really very much an Ad Lib. We get to fill n the Verbs, Nouns, Adjectives, Adverbs, and Exclamations as we go along. Email me at info@dqotd.com

Have you ever gotten caught with your hand in the cookie jar specifically after you were told not to take another cookie? Have you ever snuck another cookie anyways? Every decision we make creates in us a chance to have that internal thought or to learn an eternal truth. That is Conscience and Intuition. Mom’ cooking spoon had a power from God in it. Intuition helps us even from making the same mistakes as others when we use observing ego. For example, you kids are watching a TV program with very poorly behaved children or cartoons. Ask them what’s wrong with the story? Help them learn your standard of behavior and when the show is bad for them, they will more likely understand when you turn it off. Intuition can also be called street smarts. It comes from making lots of decisions and losing at some of them. Sometimes we call it the school of hard knocks. But either way, when things are about to go sideways, Intuition kick in and can help guide us through it. The Count of Monte Cristo. Email me at info@dqotd.com

This morning I was speaking with one of my daughters about the What and the How of things. When you’re teaching about Empathy it’s a great target to shoot for. How do you build it? By practicing what you preach. What is a great way to show Empathy? Listening First, Speaking Last. What about teaching Courage? Doing the Right Thing becomes the How. Then have the discussion with them about how to build up strength to Do the Right Thing. Email me at info@dqotd.com

This morning I was speaking with one of my daughters after our workout. She knows much of the context and history of our company and she is familiar with the long-term vision I have. While discussing a pivot I have to make because of a decision I made yesterday, she hit me with an absolutely genius idea and then began working on it immediately. I fired off messages to our team members that will be involved and all that before 5:45 am. When we have candid conversations with our kids, they can learn from seeing how our decisions play out. You’d be amazed at what they know and the ideas they have when you just share and listen. Email me at info@dqotd.com

I’m in an important meeting this morning to move a project forward and I’m interviewing someone who should have been a key person for the team. Let’s just say they didn’t bring their "A" Game. But, then it made me think about how I am with my kids. Am I always as clear as I could be? Do I really listen to them? Do I set clear expectations? Sometimes we need to make sure we aren’t the one bringing the confusion. Email me at info@dqotd.com

John Nash was a pioneer in mathematical Game Theory. He is famous for the Prisoner’s Dilemma but we are going to apply it to raising out kids. The Prisoner’s Dilemma goes like this. Two friends are being interrogated for a crime. If one confesses and the other denies it, the confessor goes to jail and their friend goes free and vice versa. What frequently happens is that the Golden Rule or the Iron Rule will kick in. The Golden Rule says a person will confess out of the kindness of their own heart in the hope of getting some benefit for martyrdom. This is Lose/Win. They lost because they had too much conscience. The Iron Rule says deny, deny, deny no matter what. Playing the statistics that the other guy will eventually confess. There is a temporary high from gambling and winning because you think you are getting away with something. Both are results of poor personal boundaries and decision making. The best outcome is when there is a point of balance. Where a person meets their opponent with the Iron Rule and then backs down to the Golden Rule. Forgive and forget. This is where we open doors to constructiveness and close them to destructiveness. This is Conscience and Intuition working together. Email me at info@dqotd.com

Have you noticed that the majority of predators and crazy people that healthy parents want to keep their kids from are narcissistic? Here’s a list of opposites you can use to guide your kids towards growing up to be a healthy productive human being. Constructive Adult-like Decisions vs Destructive Child-like ones Mature Ego Habits like altruism, humor, anticipation, suppression, assertiveness, courage Vs Immature Ego Habits like seeing black and white, denial, gossip, blaming and shaming, resisting authority, holding grudges dependence, hopelessness, helplessness, lying, stealing, slandering, jealousy, cowardice, regret, revenge, aggression, sadism, manipulation, or anything else that “screws others over.” Delayed Gratification vs Immediate Gratification Recognizes Others vs Does Not Recognize Others Advanced Observing Ego vs Weak Observing Ego Strong Conscience vs Poor Conscience Strong Intuition vs Poor Intuition Helps Others After Helping Themselves vs Harms Others or Uses Others Well-defined Boundaries vs Poorly-defined Boundaries Email me at info@dqotd.com

Show of hands on who has ever worked for a company that hires you to do a job, but they don’t give you any training to be successful at the job. They hire you because of your skill set or the potential you possess, and then send you into the deep end of the pool to either sink or swim. 48% of failed senior managers fail within 18 months. It’s largely because of a failure to help the person adjust to the company culture. So, if our families are going to be successful, there have to be times when we communicate with each other better than we are doing now. If we consider ourselves like a successful company, what are the things successful companies do to onboard new team members? Uniform Employee Handbook Video training Time job shadowing What can we do with each other as family members to increase our own cohesion? Maybe have a uniform or activities dressing alike Employee Handbook could be The Bible, The Koran, The Talmud Training could be making sure they only watch approved shows with our values Job shadowing is definitely about doing the job and teaching them how plus expectations Email me at info@dqotd.com

One of my favorite movies in recent memory is Tom Hank’s Greyhound. It’s a fantastic story about an older US Navy Officer that has his first command during World War II. He’s charged with escorting a convoy of soldiers and material to England for the war effort. During the crossing the convoy enters part of the North Atlantic that has no Allied air cover and thus they are in greater danger from the Nazi U-boat wolf packs. In their first engagement, a U-boat is discovered sneaking up on the convoy and Greyhound engages. As the U-boat dives, Tom Hank’s character orders his destroyer to turn in the opposite direction of the U-boat in order to fool them. His crew is noticeably questioning his order. His hunch pays off when they swing right over the U-boat’s position and they sink it. During another battle they used too many depth charges because of a German underwater decoy. That decision led to the captain having to learn quickly and adjust combat tactics. The over use of those valuable depth charges would almost lead to the crew’s death on two occasions later in the movie. This is a great example of the difference in how we make our decisions, how other people perceive our decisions, and how we can learn to adjust. Passive indecisive actions lead to regression, mental illness, and death. Destructive decisions lead to negative momentum like putting a hard break on your progress. Constructive decisions lead to positive momentum and growth. Thoughts from 1 Corinthians 3:19 Email me at info@dqotd.com

One of my kids had been making a series of decisions over a period of time that had led to a bad habit. Bad decisions lead to bad habits and they have consequences. One of those consequences was that I had to drive her to see a doctor during a Hurricane Ian. We then spent time discussing how she could improve her decision making and letting her know how much I love her. Thoughts from Philippians 4:6 Email me at info@dqotd.com