Fargo - Funny Lookin
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Quit You - Brokeback Mountain
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Kmart - Rainman
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Team Meeting - Goon
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Shinebox - Goodfellas
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Heavy Shiz - Cheech & Chong
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Gangland - Falling Down
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Farts - Blazing Saddles
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Don't F With The Jesus - Big Labowski
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Same Age - Dazed And Confused
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Tarded - Idiocracy
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Better Man - As Good As It Gets
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Modern Life - Fight Club
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Song Bird - Stepbrothers
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Watermelon & Fried Chicken
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Five Or A Ten
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Now that's a Long Duk Dong! - Sixteen Candles
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John Hughes 1984 classic Sixteen Candles. It’s the story of Samantha Baker. A narcissist with body dysmorphia who falls madly in love with Jake Ryan. A high school senior with a large bank account no personality and questionable morals.
Who are brought together by Farmer Ted. A freshman with a heart of gold. Watch as they fall madly in love based on nothing more than a handful of awkward stares and a store bought cake.
On this edition of Cinema CPR!
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Talk To Me Mousse! - Top Gun
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It’s the cherry on 80’s cinema Sunday. TOP GUN!
It’s the story of Pete Mitchell. A renegade navy pilot who lives life by his own set of rules. A man so cool it will cause an entire generation of young men to question their own sexuality.
Whose locked his testosterone fueled heat seeking missile on to Charlie. Sparking a genital dog fight so intense the only ones who come out on top are the audience who gets to watch.
A forbidden love affair set against a backdrop of action scenes so, mind-blowing you will have absolutely no idea what is going on half the time.
But one thing is certain…it’s AWSOME! So turn off your air conditioners and slap on those Ray Bans because you're in for one wild ride.
On this edition of CINEMA CPR!
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The Final Chapter...No Seriously (Friday The 13th PT.4)
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It’s the never ending story of Jason Vorhees as he faces off against his toughest opponent yet…the Jarvis family. It's the boss battle to end all boss battles till the next boss battle.
Who are joined by a cast chuck full of expendable NPC’s. He slices , He dices. And all for the low low price...Of your life.
Not a window will be saved. Or act of premarital sex go unpunished
On this edition of Cinema CPR!
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This Ones For Jailbird Joey! - Back To The Future
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Steven Spielberg presents Robert Zemeckis seminal classic Back To The Future.The story of Marty McFly. And Doc Brown. An unlikely combo who must band together to save Marty from being stuck in the past. And also, se**ally assault his mother so he doesn’t get erased from existence.
So grab yourself some plutonium. Strap on your life preserver. and brace yourself for one of the greatest action-adventure films of all time. Packed full of animal cruelty. And not so subtle racism.
On this edition of CINEMA CPR!
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I’ll be back! Again, and Again and Again - The TERMINATOR
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1984 Science fiction Classic Terminator. A story where the future of all mankind is contingent on one man’s weak pull-out game.
Meet Sarah Conner. A mediocre big buns waitress But what she lacks in her hospitality skills she more than makes with in her ability to conceive futuristic saviors with her creepy stalker time traveling one night stand Kyle Reese.
Watch as these two band together to protect their future bastard child from Cyberdine system 101. The ultimate killing machine. A cybernetic assassin built to blend in with society. That takes every opportunity to draw attention to itself.
So stay tuned as we try to stay one step ahead of the impending apocalypse. That ironically looks much better than our current one.
On this addition of Cinema CPR
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Is that a pickle on your plate or are you just happy to see me? - Dirty Dancing
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1887’s Dirty Dancing The story of Francis Houseman an awkward but very idealistic young lady. And Johnny Castle, A self-confessed male prostitute blessed with the grace of a swan. With the temper of someone with irritable bowl syndrome stuck in LA traffic.
Watch as these two are thrown together for a summer at Kellerman’s Mountain house. A place more sexually charged than a l_mon p_rty at a nuclear power plant.
So, stay tuned as we explore this twisted parallel world of wholesome family friendly entertainment. Mixed with the seedy underbelly of a fight club for those who like to gratuitous dry hump. As they all band together in an effort to help a former Rockette, achieve her retroactive insemination procedure.
On this addition of Cinema CPR!
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A New Dimension In Desperation! - Friday The Thirteenth Part 3
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He maybe down but he’s definitely not out. Jason Vorhees the hobo that just will not let things gogo is back. As he demonstrates his love for environment by recycling the same tired plot line.
Schooling a small group of young adults that living a life full of sin can be detrimental to your health. But murder is completely justified.
It’s 3 times the thrills….3 times the chills....And three times the gratuitous use of 3D.
On this edition of Cinema CPR.
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Teach me how to Duckie! - Pretty In Pink
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1986 romantic comedy Pretty In Pink…. The story of Andie Walsh a loving but extremely volatile young lady.With a questionable fashion sense. Who falls in love with Blain. A man with charisma of someone named Blain.
Watch as this blossoming young relationship is undermined by everyone’s favorite stalker…Duckie. A young man who takes no for an answer but probably should.
So, stay tuned as we learn that money is the root of all evil. While simultaneously wishing we were all rich.
On this addition of Cinema CPR.
4
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