Mussar Center

START HERE: https://mussar.center ❦ Moralism never worked for you? Just couldn't get excited about being good? Good! Because Mussar isn't about being a good person, and Middot aren't virtues. Mussar is the path of the heart - it's about facing those parts of yourself you've been avoiding or suppressing so you can relate as a whole person instead of being fake. And middot are neutral, they're not good or bad. If a situation calls for a specific middah and you whip out the opposite, that could be a problem. Same goes for if you're always one thing and never the other. But walking the middle path doesn't mean being average or bland, either. Mussar will make you lots of all the different sides of yourself, not lots of nothing. Let's look at seven pairs of opposite middot and see what makes these neutral qualities helpful or harmful. 48 Middot (Simple): https://www.mussar.center/lists/48 48 Middot (Detailed): https://www.mussar.center/lists/middot Rambam: https://t.ly/b2Lcf ❦ #Mussar #Middos #Balance

START HERE: https://mussar.center Now that we've talked about the inner work of Mussar and how much of it is focused on specific character qualities or 'middot', let's look at the verb behind this noun. It may help to explain how exactly this Hebrew term for quantitative measurements in three-dimensional space came to mean your capacity for uniquely human and divine attributes in the realm of the soul and spirit. Not to mention answering questions like: Why does God ultimately treat you the way you treat other people? What should you do if you're worried about the next generation and want to make a difference? How can understanding whether you're a 'large, medium, or small' save you from pushing people until they snap? And most importantly, how can you get more divine inspiration and energy (Ruach HaKodesh) in your life? 48 Middot (Simple): https://www.mussar.center/lists/48 48 Middot (Detailed): https://www.mussar.center/lists/middot 48 Ma'alot (Steps): https://www.mussar.center/lists/maalot ❦ #Mussar #Ruach #HolySpirit

START HERE: https://mussar.center If you think 'working on yourself' sounds kind of vague…you're right. Mussar is way more specific than that. Much of "tikkun" is focused on individual character qualities, or "middot" in Hebrew. While literally middot are just quantitative measures, figuratively they range from your soul traits and values to Hashem's ways and highest attributes. Let's start by learning what "middah" meant in the Tanach and Rabbinic writings and discover how it's used in Israel today. Then we'll see how your character is tied to your habits, face the shocking truth that without these inner qualities everything you could do for God is garbage, and debate whether or not it's middos that make for a good day and a great you. SIMPLE MIDDOT LIST: https://www.mussar.center/lists/48 DETAILED MIDDOT LIST: https://www.mussar.center/lists/middot (P.S. It's been five lessons! If everyone donates a dollar a lesson we'll be able to keep teaching for free. Please do what you think everyone should do and send in a little something right now: https://mussar.center/give.html Thank you!) ❦ #Mussar #Middot #Character #JewishValues #DivineAttributes #Middos

START HERE: https://mussar.center Want to make the world a better place? The Hebrew word "tikkun" holds a hilariously profound message. Yes, it involves sweeping public changes like government reform, social innovation, remedial legislation, and improving our institutions. And yes, there's also the inner side of personal healing. But tikkun also means going to the bathroom and getting dressed. What's the connection? Why would you need to deal with your own poop before trying to clean up the world? Or start your day right when your country needs saving? And why make a difference in the life of that one kid when…? Tikkun also means destiny so let's finish by talking about how you can walk into yours. ❦ #Mussar #Tikkun #ChangeTheWorld

START HERE: https://mussar.center ❦ Mussar gives you words for things. Some of those words are Hebrew because we don't have big enough English words. For example, "tikkun" - the inner work of Mussar. In our last conversation I showed you how Tikkun is used in the original Hebrew Bible. Now let's look at what it means in Rabbinic literature and modern Hebrew. Most of this conversation will be about tikkun as healing - restoring, repairing, rehabilitating, mending - and how to experience that for yourself. Why? Because only people walking their own paths of healing (Tikkun Adam) will be able to heal the world (Tikkun Olam). 50 VERSES OF HEALING: https://mussar.center/listing/healing

START HERE: https://mussar.center To say that Mussar is "inner work" is kind of vague. What kind of work? Well...you know how last week we talked about Mussar and how it gives you words for things? This is one of those things that don't have an English equivalent. The Hebrew word is TIKKUN and it means way more than you think. Let's start by unpacking tikkun/תִּיקּוּן as it's used in the Bible and see how it relates to your personal Mussar practice. If you're feeling down I'm also going to give you some encouragement, invite you to dream again, and teach you a simple one-word prayer to say when you don't feel like doing anything at all. ❦ #Tikkun #תִּיקּוּן #Mussar #InnerWork #Encouragement

START HERE: https://mussar.center The way you move really hot food around in your mouth. Moonlight on water. When you're about to introduce someone and forget their name. The day after tomorrow. That crazy urge to squish cuteness. People who spend lots of time and little money at coffeeshops. What do these things have in common? There's no English word for them! Same goes for Mussar. It's a vocabulary, a language. Without Mussar we don't have words for things - things we really need, things that aren't real to us otherwise. Speaking of which! Let's look at some Hebrew Mussar words that have no English equivalent. ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Why have stories about 'becoming a real boy' or going on a quest to 'get a heart of your own' resonated so deeply for so long? We have hearts. We are real people. Then why do we dream of more? What would it be like to be more conscious, more aware? Even just to be able to remember what happened last week? What would it be like to not be so numb? To feel like you're actually, really, there? And what about God? Could it be possible to actually feel his presence, or maybe even to have riveting encounters with the Divine? These three ancient Mussar texts say yes, it is possible. And they tell how. (P.S. It's been five lessons! If everyone donates a dollar a lesson we'll be able to keep teaching for free. Please do what you think everyone should do and send in a little something right now: https://mussar.center/give.html Thank you!) ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Can you really love your neighbor if you don't love yourself? Be kind to yourself yes, but what does that actually look like? Why is it so easy for self-care to go from taking some needed you-time off so you can get lost in a good story with your favourite snack to staying up all night binge-watching and drinking the whole bottle and then feeling horrible the next day? That's why you need Mussar - because it's how to love yourself, it's how to feel good; it's literally your connection to your own soul. And one more thing - if there's anything I could wish for you, it's what I say at the end of this talk. ♥

START HERE: https://mussar.center Everyone practices basic Mussar from early childhood because if they don't they die. But is there more to it than just physical survival? If you've ever experienced the living death of depression then you know that there's so much more to being deeply, truly ALIVE than just subsisting. And what if it wasn't just about you? What if what you did with Mussar made the difference between life and death for your kids? Or their kids? Imagine a city or country full of sincere Mussar practitioners and then brace yourself and imagine the opposite. Life needs light to stay alive, and so does your soul. But how do you get that light? ❦ #Mussar #Life #Light

START HERE: https://mussar.center There's a silver lining around your pain but it might be hard to see. This is where your character is forged, where you get to choose who you're going to be. Because first you form your habits, and then they form you. Suffering is the cagefight where life comes at you fast and hard and the only thing that matters is how you trained. It's the glaring light of reality with the cheering crowd beyond. Remember that this test of endurance isn't just for you - you're fighting for others too, on a level you can't even comprehend. So keep going, my friend. Your trial by fire won't last forever and you will have peace yet. ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Does God hate you? Maybe that's why he let that happen. Or maybe it's because he's not there anymore. Or maybe he never really was - just like you-know-who when you were growing up. What if the tragic accidents in your life really were just that, random accidents? What if your pain is for nothing? How are you supposed to keep going when everything in you just wants to collapse? How are you supposed to love when all you have is rage? If you've suffered then you know how real these questions are. Here are five things I want you to tell yourself. Or let me tell them to you. And, hey - I love you. ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center What if the only freedom you really had was the choice of what or who you were going to worship? And what does it tell you that the English word for worship means "worth" and the Hebrew means "work"? Let's look at a Hebrew word that's spelled exactly the same as "mussar" but pronounced differently and use that to springboard into talking about the connection between your highest values and your GOD, how to keep the romance in your relationship with Hashem, and exactly how the path of nihilism ends in annihilation. This is our second talk about real freedom. (P.S. It's been five lessons! If everyone donates a dollar a lesson we'll be able to keep teaching for free. Please do what you think everyone else should do and send in a little something right now: https://mussar.center/give.html Thank you!)

START HERE: https://mussar.center Think about that one thing you've been tempted to do...and tell yourself you're free to do it. How do you feel? Now tell yourself you're just as free to not do it. What happens? We deeply and desperately need to feel free. But how? Where's the real freedom? Maybe if you just did whatever you felt like and followed your heart's impulses? Or what if that just made things worse? We're about to get our answers by looking at two Hebrew words and then looking way past them to their chaotic opposites. Is it worth an hour of your life to feel more free than you've ever felt before? ❦ #Mussar #Freedom #Love

START HERE: https://mussar.center We all have regrets about the past. We desperately wish we could go back and change it, but the concrete has set and it's too late. All we have left is this moment...and tomorrow. Regrets can be redemptive if they move us to live lives now that we won't regret later, and that's where Mussar warnings come in. In Hebrew these emotionally charged imperatives enable you to navigate the present by illuminating the future. Why? So you can experience the pleasure of success and fulfillment instead of the pain of failure and regret. Does that give you a new perspective on the mitzvot/commandments? ❦ #Mussar #Warnings #Regret #Mitzvot #Commandments

START HERE: https://mussar.center And now it's your turn. How do you share your own feelings and needs and ask for what you want without slipping into those violent old mindsets of blame, demands, and subtle attacks? And what if your friend says no, how do you practice self-care and good boundaries then? This is our fourth and final talk about how to have hard conversations. If you haven't had the time to watch here are the Ten Steps in one sentence: Make your friend feel safe, free, good, and understood; then say "when you ___, I feel ___. I need ___, so would you ___?" Here's the written Guide you can save, print, review, and share: https://archive.org/details/nonviolent-communication And here are the other links mentioned in this talk: Rambam on Sefaria (Deot 6:6-9): https://tinyurl.com/yxgrutlb Rambam on Chabad with commentary (Deot 6:6-9): https://tinyurl.com/y28zqkk8 NVC on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3tgBEaw NVC on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChba0vNERFwUtoxlZ6AjrMw/playlists All the best as you walk the path of nonviolent tochacha! ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Did you ever meet that guy who never had anything good to say and only spoke up when something was wrong? That doesn't work in relationships and it certainly doesn't help when there's conflict! Let's talk about the five languages of affirmation and how you can use them to make your friend feel good about talking through the hard stuff with you. And get this - even when there's nothing wrong, you can still use these languages to put smiles on everybody's faces. You might even end up smiling yourself! Could this be the secret to happiness? (P.S. It's been five lessons! If everyone donates a dollar a lesson we'll be able to keep teaching for free. Please do what you think everyone else should do and send in a little something right now: https://mussar.center/give.html Thank you!) ALSO READ & DOWNLOAD the 'Mussar Guide to Hard Conversations': https://archive.org/details/nonviolent-communication

START HERE: https://mussar.center 'Reprove thy neighbor' is right in there with 'love thy neighbor' but it doesn't tell you how to do it! And as we've seen, trying to talk through stuff can go wrong in so many ways. This is the first of four conversations about how to make those hard conversations easier and more likely to end well. These ten steps are synthesized from the Rambam's commentary on the 'Mitzvah of Tochacha' and from Non-Violent Communication (NVC), a powerful and compassionate way of relating developed by world-class peacemaker Marshall Rosenberg. Let's start with how to make your friend feel safe and free. ALSO READ & DOWNLOAD the 'Mussar Guide to Hard Conversations': https://archive.org/details/nonviolent-communication ❦ #Mussar #Tochacha #TenSteps

START HERE: https://mussar.center Making the decision to try to talk through stuff with someone can be scary. You want it to go well but there's also that terrifying possibility that you'll just make things worse. How can you know if it'll be worth the effort or if it would be better to just let it go? Are there things you can do to get ready for what could turn into a challenging situation? In the next four talks you'll see how to actually have those hard conversations, but first here are some questions to ask yourself before you even decide to try 'being mochiach'. I hope they help! ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Remember the last thing we discussed? It was why we suck at hard conversations. Maybe we should talk a little more about why they're still important, just so we don't give up. Boundary work, contructive criticism, talking through stuff...there's a word in Hebrew for this and about a dozen related topics - "tochacha"! Can you experience truly loving relationships or have real peace without tochachah? Can you accomplish your personal mission or can Mashiach come without tocheichah? Or come to think of it, can you even say "tochacha" right without horking on your friend? ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Most of the synonyms for "reproof" in the dictionary are violent. You get the impression we don't know how to say "stop" or have those hard conversations without losing it and becoming verbally abusive. Maybe that's even happened to you. What do you do when someone's rebuking you but you're not sure they actually care about you, or want the best for you, or even really know you? How do you take care of your own heart in those situations? This is Boundaries 101 but most of us never learned basic boundaries so welcome to the club. :)

START HERE: https://mussar.center Has anyone ever told you to stop? Or have you ever had a day when nothing was going your way? Maybe it even felt like the universe - or God himself - was against you! How did you react? There's nothing like being crossed to show where you're really at. We get triggered, we erupt…all sorts of dark and scary things come up. Kind of like a volcano actually. No matter how you look at it, a Mussar rebuke is a deep thing. It can bring the stuff up you're avoiding or repressing. And then there's the challenge of how to get the rebuke to go deep in a good way instead of just bouncing off you and causing a firestorm. This is the first of two convos about how to receive a rebuke. P.S. It's been five lessons! If everyone donates a dollar a lesson we'll be able to keep teaching for free. Please do what you think everyone else should do and send in a little something right now: https://mussar.center/give.html Thank you! ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center Have you ever been in a situation where either you told the other person that what they were doing wasn't ok or pretended everything was fine and watched the relationship turn fake? How about now, who are you avoiding because you don't want to have that hard conversation? What if God did that to you? The beautiful thing is that he doesn't. If Hashem rebukes you it means he's not ignoring you. It means he's engaging with you authentically and intimately because he cares enough to fight for the relationship. That's why Mussar rebukes are terrible and wonderful all at the same time. Let's keep going. ❦

START HERE: https://mussar.center What if there was another Hebrew word that was used synonymously with mussar? Do you think maybe it could give you new insights into what your Mussar practice could look like? You're right! "Tochachat" is another word for mussar and is usually translated "reproof". When we look deeper though, tochachat means so much more. First let me teach you how to actually pronounce this term. Then I'll show you the seven different meanings it has. Hopefully along the way you'll begin to see reproof in a new light and come to treasure every experience of reproof you get.

START HERE: https://mussar.center If you could have coffee with the King or Queen of an Empire, what advice would they give you? That's what the book of Proverbs is - David, the great warrior-poet, telling his little son all the things. We usually think of Proverbs as wisdom literature, but did you know that Mussar is emphasized even more than wisdom in its opening lines? And that over half the references to Mussar in the Bible are in this one book? Maybe it's time to go back and read Proverbs again and let yourself be fathered in the ways you never were. This is your invitation to do a Mussar chapter a day and let it strike royalty in your soul.