The410Protocol

Finally, the last mission of the #hitman series. This mission doesn't make a whole lot of sense because it was released at the end of the third game, but belongs before the last mission of the second game 🤔. Who knows. Anyways, in this mission we get to go to a pirate island, not like those crappy waterparks you went to as a kid (but not much better either ironically) and take out two targets neither of whom seem like a real threat to anyone. But who am I to question random orders by a childhood friend.

Of all the places you can wake up, I didn’t expect to wake up on a speeding train in the middle of Romania. But here we are, with a train full of every type of guard you can think of. Like yes, I just stand on top of a flat train car waiting around while its sub-zero temperatures outside. Kind of like that kid in middle school that would wear shorts all year around. Is there snow? Yes, and Kevin is still wearing shorts claiming “it isn’t cold” even though his legs are purple. I wonder whatever happened to Kevin 🤔.

Pandora tomorrow is a mixed bag for #splintercell fans. They kept Sam's voice actor, but got rid of everyone else. Not only did they hire mediocre voice actors (like the guy from Allstate), but whoever mixed the sound for many of them must have been a deaf intern. So, because of this, and the fact #ubisoft didn't care to really support this game for too long at all, it's one of the lost gem's of the franchise. Good luck if you ever want to play it on PC by the way 😉.

If you've watched my playthroughs of the main single-player campaigns, you'll know just how insanely good these games are. Freelancer takes the games and turns it up a notch. Every single playthrough is unique and completely different now (besides the game levels), and as many times as I've completed the campaigns, it still never gets old. So, having said all that, welcome to Freelancer. I may do another campaign on the master difficulty, but I'm not sure if I feel like putting myself through that again 😂.

Levels like this make me wonder how many real place like this exist. Some random shed and it goes to a bunker or something crazy. I can dream though. Other parts of this level heavily foreshadow future splinter cell games, so I won't ruin it, but keep an eye and ear out 😉.

There are so many points in this game where we could have taken care of the brat in the bandana. Literally, we have been inches from him at times where it could have ended right there, but no, we have to let him continue on causing problems. Makes you wonder how much this happens in real life, where things could have changed for the better. Either way, sniping, chokeholds and classic headshots help dull the frustration 😂.

Every game has a level that grinds your gears; in this game, this is that level for me. It usually takes a dozen attempts at different spots all because one dude a quarter mile away might have seen part of your shadow. Seriously. Not to mention a big issue with the console versions of this game is that they do not have manual save options or quick save options like the PC version does. So, if you ever wanted to feel what its like to rage quit, pick up this game for console and give it a shot 😉.

"I'll take things I won't ever do in my life time for $1,000 Alex." There's certain things that tickle your stomach; going over a drop in a road, rollercoasters, stuff like that. In this case, when you have to shimmy under the train and eventually climb down the sides, it always gets me. Not to mention trains coming at you from the other tracks, like come on now, lets just give everyone anxiety from this 😂.

Ever heard of or met those people that think their modern problems will be fixed in the future? "Oh, I'll freeze my body/brain and they'll revive me in 100 years!" 🥴. I've got bad news for those people; you won't be coming back for round two, especially if the company goes out of business or someone (like in this mission) breaks in and dumps your organs on the ground 🤣.

As far as "games I'll never play again on console" go, this one wasn't horrible, but is definitely better on PC if you're considering giving it a go. Overall, the story isn't bad, and the level design is decent. Audio quality in some cases beyond the main characters is terrible, but the game does add to the overall splinter cell world - in the same way certain girls add to hooters and twin peaks. Some add a lot, some add a little 😉.

One major complaint I have against this game on consoles (I've probably said this before), is the fact that they remove "quick save" and "save" (that you find on the PC version), and instead only allow you to save when you hit the pre-determined checkpoints they have in the levels. While this is fine in most cases, some checkpoints are so insanely far away from each other that you're liable to start chucking controllers. like SERIOUSLY. Anyways, this level is also one of the more "challenging" ones because of the checkpoints as well as its size and guard placement. Overall, I give it a 5/10 for making me want to rage quit 😂.

There’s something therapeutic about taking out the snobby people; both targets in this mission carry themselves like anyone and everyone is below them and isn’t important enough to talk to them. Makes my life easier, since I make sure they never speak again 😉. We’re nearing the end of Hitman 3, so our streak of assassinations is coming to an end.

China – the place where everything seems to be made. Where there’s more cameras than humans, and every move you make is predicted. Basically, exactly what psychics claim to be, but conveniently “forget” to tell you to avoid Taco Bell the day you wear white pants to an interview. In this mission, we get to take out two targets, one of which is one of the worst we’ve ever seen ethics wise. So, it’s fitting that a bullet gets to be the last thing ever on his mind.

I’ve never understood the appeal behind going to dance clubs, or as the kids say “Clubbing”. A whole bunch of people all crammed together trying to get in each other’s pants, sweating and drinking; sounds like a nightmare to me. So, having said that, this mission wasn’t much help seeing a naked dude dancing downstairs, creepy graffiti everywhere, and of course an assassin wandering around killing people 😉.

If you've ever seen the movie "Skyfall", this will give you vibes from that. We're onto the last of the main three targets we set out to smack into the afterlife, and so far we've done a good job (by "we" I mean "me". It's all been me 😎). This chicks voice alone makes me want to push her down in a gravel filled parking lot, but as you'll see from this episode, I restrained myself 😉.

Dubai is hard to explain to people that have never seen it. Picture some of the world’s most wealthy people, where their police force drives the world’s most expensive cars (as police cars!), it’s illegal to go into debt (it’s true, look it up), and it apparently has the world tallest building. Let’s mix in some of our targets trying to hide in said tallest building (subtlety is lost on these people) and a vendetta we’ve apparently had against them since the beginning of time, and you’ve got the mission that starts out Hitman 3.

Super cool island? Check. Everything is more expensive than I could ever afford? Check. Wish I could move here? Definitely. This mission puts us in the Maldives, where three people are standing in the way of us bringing down a secret society of horrible people; kind of like the G7 summit that we see each year with all the smiling politicians that should have retired years ago but refuse to give up their power even though half are probably in adult diapers. So, here we go, final mission of Hitman 2.

Ever been in a bank that didn’t feel pretentious or like you didn’t belong? This is one of those banks. The target in this mission makes it very clear she hates the world but detests her customers even more. What a lovely person! (that’s sarcasm for those of you in the back). It’s ok, I’m sure you all will love how I take care of this one 😏.

It’s always ironic to me that rich people scoff at “poor” people for being afraid of the end of the world or the apocalypse (or fill in the blank), yet they do the same things and worry about the same things, they just dress everything up to look fancier than it is. Like yes Nancy, you’re still crazy even though you came in a Rolls Royce. In this mission we’re in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of doomsday prepping rich people masquerading as though they aren’t completely nuts. Either way, we still take people out indiscriminately 😎.

“Whittleton Creek” sounds like it would be in the middle of Alabama, but surprise! Its in Vermont of all places. Ironically, playing through this mission makes me want to retire here, mainly because of how this place looks; kudos on the level design there iOi. One of the only downsides to this place is the overbearing neighbors (but we get to take care of those😉).

In this episode, we find ourselves in Mumbai, India. I never thought I would be taking down pirates and hunting ghosts, but here we are. We have a wannabe movie star, a dude where no one knows his face, and a chick that looks like she would be the runner up for the “Miss 7/11” competition. But hey, I’m an equal opportunity assassin, so I won’t discriminate 😉.

Drug dealers always seem to have the most luxurious lifestyles that rival that of rappers (or are those the same thing? 🤔) They’ve got the most elaborate forms of everything you’ve ever wanted. That $6,000 toilet you thought was amazing? They’ve got it. The huge solid gold statue of Katy Perry’s boobs? Probably got that too. See what I mean? Life choices people!

Hokkaido, the snowy "Alaska" of Japan is where we find ourselves for the last mission of the first Hitman game (don't worry there are a lot more missions coming up next). In this mission, we get to take out the guy that didn't want us being an assassin in the first place (check out the intro video to this game to see him again), and even tried to sabotage and keep us out of the field (sucks to suck doesn't it Soders). On the other hand, we also have Yuki, a corrupt lawyer that needs to meet her maker as well. Good thing I'm feeling generous 😉.

Why is it in many of the “villain intros” they start out as “geniuses” that randomly decide to use their minds for evil? Just randomly decided one day that they want to kill people or take over the world. Like what happened Jeffrey? Someone steal your Pokémon cards and you now hate the world? I digress. In this mission we get to take out two “geniuses” where both have crazy tempers and make you want to punch them in the face, as well as making you feel so good when you finally do take care of them somehow. I think playing this game reduces the odds of workplace violence. Just saying.

Whenever I see houses like this that criminals own, it makes me mildly contemplate my career choices. But then again, I don’t do well in small spaces and I’d probably get arrested immediately if I ever tried to do even the slightest illegal thing, so I’ll just stick to what I know. Anyways, this is the start of Hitman 2 (if you didn’t get that from the info graphics), and it does improve a good amount over the first game. Not a ton of levels once again, but the substance is there; unleashing peoples most creative ways to kill people all over the world 😈.