Psychology of Independence – Being Dad with Phil Lower, September 17, 2022

I remember when everyone in our family was sick. I had a long day, I was in pain, and I laid down to rest. I expected my wife to help do the dishes but never spoke with her about it. When I woke up 9 hours later, they weren’t done and I had all kinds of negative thoughts about her. When I noticed them I immediately decided to look for valid reasons she might have been unable and my mood shifted. That is Observing Ego.

Our goal in life is Durable Fulfillment.

Durable Fulfillment in this instance is when I am satisfied with the choices and actions I’ve taken throughout my life.

People suffering are in poor control and those thoughts could have led to an outburst that damages the relationship.

The US Declaration of Independence mentions our inalienable rights come from our Creator, and that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When you consider our 4 parts of psychology, our inalienable rights are our personal boundary. You walk past someone in the store, you say excuse me because you are stepping into their personal space.

You have 100% control over your emotional territory and that boundary expands as you grow in your intellect, emotional energy, and your decision making ability.

The main difference between sex and rape is the willingness to allow someone through your personal boundary and the violence of the attack against another person.

Why prison is appropriate for criminals is to lock down their personal boundary into a place where they can’t enter society’s boundary again.

The key to maintaining your personal boundary is to also work towards helping others maintain their own. That’s why sticking up for someone else against a bully makes the bully back down. They were expecting 1 on 1 against a weak boundary.

You have 0% control or full responsibility over what happens outside of you. This is why it’s so important to pass on a strong personal boundary to your kids. They are starting from scratch. They don’t know what they are and are not allowed or expected to do. You are helping them write the software program of their psychology.

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