Sports Illustrated Goes Bankrupt Trying To Provide Enough Catering For Cover Model Shoot

U.S. — Sports Illustrated has declared bankruptcy after trying to provide enough catering for their latest plus-size model photo shoot. Sources say the company ran out of money halfway through the shoot and was forced to file for Chapter 11 as the models were demanding more food.

"We spent millions on food for these body-positive models, but we still ran out of food 15 minutes in," said SI photographer Fitz Bitzley. "In addition to professional catering companies, we also ordered from Chick-Fil-A, Pizza Hut, Steak Escape, Subway, Wing Stop, Popeye's, Burger King, and 378 other restaurants. They just kept demanding more and more. Now, they're shrieking and running after us like they're going to eat us. I'm terrified."

Bitzley's statement was cut short after one of the models swallowed him whole along with all his camera equipment.

"It's really sad that we weren't able to finish this photoshoot, because we're sure millions of people were looking forward to seeing these woman wearing tiny swimsuits," said a spokesman for Sports Illustrated. "Now the world may never see these photos. Sad!"

Sources say the models weighed a combined 12 tons and included plus-size influencers Jessica Torres, Tess Holliday, and your mom.
https://babylonbee.com/news/sports-illustrated-goes-bankrupt-trying-to-provide-enough-catering-for-cover-model-shoot

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