Reddit Tymes

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. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

. #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

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Either I get surprised by seeing people that actually think that way about me, or the list is blank, confirming my theory and crushing what little self esteem I have. Is there a Premium Option to filter for "everyone who has ever sexually fantasized about or masturbated to me, *that'd id be happy to see on the list*"? 10 dollars for a number. And depending on that number is how much I'd pay for the list How much do I gotta pay to prevent my name from appearing on everyone else’s list? Man, I’ve had some… thoughts. Nothing, I dun want to know. It's asking for trouble.... I would pay a considerable amount of money to not know about several of them. A nice glass filled with ice cold sparkling water. $20. Realistically it would be interesting, but at the same time I'm concerned if there's something that I'd rather not see on that list. $5. It'll be a short list. $100 for a snapshot.$350 for a list that continuously updates. At best, the list might update once per decade, but I want to be ready if it does. I wouldn't buy it because I could never emotionally recover if I see a blank paper. I would pay money to NEVER see it. If this would also include people who have had “wet†dreams about me then I’d be willing to pay a lot cuz I’m nosey af lol $0 I do not want to know at all. You keep the list. Idgaf. Why would I pay for a blank sheet of paper? Will it contain a count? I think quantity would creep me out more. Like 1-2 meh normal. But like 547 times!? Damn someone is getting blocked and im moving. About $100, I think it’d be nice to see more potential romantic partners lmao I’d pay quite a bit actually. If the list is short I need to check my ego. If the list is long I need to check my ego.Also, can I pay extra to keep my name off specific people’s lists? It's all fun and games until you see the name of a family member on the list. Some things need to be left unknown. None. Let them have their privacy. Plus what if one of them were an old high school teacher, or a friend's dad? Or a friend's husband -- that would be awkward. $0, cause I don't wanna flocking know. I think a lot of you joking about blank paper (but kinda not joking) would actually be surprised. I’m not a terribly good looking guy but I was talking to a girl I hadn’t seen in years and she was and still is absolutely super model hot and she told me she used to fantasize about me years before when we were in high school. I was absolutely gutted that I never asked her out back then. As a woman, I would pay NOT to see that Why would I pay for my own name? Nothing. I'd rather not know. A 53 YO neighbor just told me what "he'd do to me" in a failed attempt of making a pass at me (bc I'm moving and I guess he thought it was safe) and I wanted to puke...If you find my pic online what you do with it is your business and I'd rather (for the love of all that is sacred) **not** know Ew I’d pay to not see it $50 and I'd be stunned if there's 5. I’d pay a few bucks. For pure curiosity However much the asking amount is and I will consider No flocking thanks. Lol. Immediately makes me thinks of creeps during my public transport days and one that whipped out his dick right there behind the bus stop and stared straight at me and I COULD HEAR IT. Are you kidding though or are you just young? I'm an indian woman who grew up around perverted old men. I don't know that I want to see this list. How much does one blank piece of paper cost? #reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday

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#reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep? I pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage 3 cancer. I was 9.He's totally fine now! But it really sucked at the time. My father telling my mother that sometimes he just wanted to kill me (I was 5 years old when I overheard this). Being that my Dad was an alcoholic and full of rage I believed him and lived my entire childhood believing he was going to kill me. Freshman college roommate watching porn on his laptop wearing headphones, humping his mattress like there’s no tomorrow. That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking My grandparents won $10000 at the casino, and they told all of their children (and presumably gave them some of that money) except my dad. My dad is a dick so I didn’t tell him either. My “friends†talking about going into my wallet later and steal my money, and then leave before I notice, I kicked them out 'no wonder people at school think he's gay' - my step mum My older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in. They had sex for about a minute and then I could hear him apologizing for about 20. May not be the worst ever, but its definitely the funniest. Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys. I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine. I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine. Probably my dad's dementia screaming. Usually nothing is wrong, but he'll wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to yell at God and grind his teeth. You never do get used to it. My mum's boyfriend sloppily trying to flock my mum all drunk as shit whilst we're all sharing the same flocking Hotel room. I was 13. You can cum on my tits or my belly but not inside me...This was coming from the top bunk, I was on the bottom bunk. I snuck out and went somewhere else. Not me, but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend. This was obviously long before we met. My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10 year old me was asleep.Aunt, "Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute."Mom, " No, he's not very good looking at all." My mom having an affair with her fiance’s best friend (who was married). In the same room that I was sleeping in. I was like 10 years old.Edit: spelling I was a camp counselor... two girls very much liked to make hot or not lists. One of them suggested a male counselor was hot, and the other said he was saying mean things about me behind my back, which made him not hot. Hurt to hear that from my campers, but glad they supported me. When I was a wee tot, I pretended to be asleep in the family room so I wouldn't have to actually go to ved and once my parents were distracted, I could keep watching TV.I then got to hear my dad proposition my mom for couch sex...it's been many years so I don't remember exaxtly what he said, but it was something along the lines of "hop on Pop." My sisters soon to be fiance wanking while saying her name My family were staying at a friends house and had to share a room. My dad comes to bed hammered and says to my mum something along the lines of does it impress you that I'm this drunk and can still perform. I actually wanted to die The person in the bunk under me beating his dick like it owed him money. Something like “She’s too old for this, I’m not going to carry her up to bed anymore†. and that was the last time I was magically transported from the living room couch to my bedroom. My roommate's one night stand dismount because "his dick was hitting her bladder" and she waddled off for a piss before getting back on top. My roommate and her FWB having loud, dirty-talk sex. I'd just had my wisdom teeth out and I think they assumed I was passed out on pain meds. my sister got drunk and I heard a loud thud and she blacked out, two of her friends and my mom and dad were shouting at each-other and they were saying to shut up cause they didn't want to wake me up and they were all crying thinking she was dead and I couldn't tell my sister I was happy she didn't die. now I appreciate seeng her every week. My then-boyfriend opening up our bedroom door to show me off to his friends while I was sleeping. It was the middle of summer so I was lying butt naked on our bed. He thought I was asleep. Huge fight occurred the next morning and we were not dating for long after that event.Wtf man. I’m still pissed off about that. You knew I was naked. My dad and stepmom was having a foursome with a couple of their friends.We we're at a summerhouse and they did it in the living room. I felt so uncomfortable eating breakfast the next day

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#reddit #reddittymes #tymes #reddittymestoday #rttoday What is the WORST advice you can give a virgin for their first time? Poking holes in condom will give you some breathing room. Leave the TV on, set it to something interesting, and pay attention to it during sex. It can only go in soft so if you have a boner you have to wait for it to go away before trying to get it in. Remember to cry throughout. It’s where the moist comes from. Don't bother with a condom; you can't get pregnant the first time anyway. Women automatically orgasm when the man nuts so there’s no need to do anything else to help her get off. Make sure to bite the ballsEdit: whoa, thanks for the first gold! At the end of sex, you have to give your partner $200 and say thanks. Boppit is a sex education toy Foreplay? More like BOREplay. Dont bother. When you want the girl to cum, just scream directly into the vagina. Women love it when you vigorously finger their belly button. Make sure you bring up the topic of other woman (ex's or otherwise) during the act. Girls love that. Put your balls in Button mash the clit like you're playing Mortal Kombat. Whatever girls seem to like in porn, they'll LOVE in real life! Stick it in her butt without warning. All girls' G-spots are located in their rectum Scream I’m sorry the whole time Sex looks and sounds exactly like porn so try to do it the same way The clitoris is a myth. Don’t waste time looking for it If she doesn't feel wet enough, you're not fingering her hard enough. When giving a hand job, grip tightly with both hands and twist in opposite directions rapidly.You know you're doing it right when you hear screaming An oft overlooked erogenous zone is the nose. Before the main event, spend 15-20 minutes on a nasal massage. Make a loud honking noise when pinching the bulb of the nose for a truly erotic experience. Your partner loves it when you get off first and fall asleep. This applies to any sex. When getting a bj, tell her just right before you cum that you're about to cum. So she takes it out of her mouth but doesn't have time to get out of the way and gets it all over her face and In the hair.Absolutely didn't happen to me at any point of my life, I promise. Skip the foreplay because it’ll just confuse you