The Babylon Bee

These two women come from different political parties. But at least they can agree on "my body, my choice" - or do they?

Host Adam Yenser gives us the news of the week like an ex-NFL player getting arrested for punching a United Airlines employee, a CNN host knowingly exposing his co-workers to COVID, and Stacey Abrams tried getting Georgia voters to vote for her by telling them they live in the worst state. Watch the full podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVezGNwQlTI Follow Adam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Nina Jankowicz is coping the only way she knows how- with song! #Shorts Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Are you a man? It's hard to tell these days. Watch our well-researched video to find out whether you are indeed a man. Follow Chandler's Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/chandlerjuliet Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Are you a woman? It's hard to tell these days. Watch our well-researched video to find out whether you are indeed a woman.

In the social justice system, words are considered violence. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious attacks are members of an elite squad known as the Microaggression Victims Unit. These are their stories. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Today on The Babylon Tea, we spill the tea on a HOT new tip on family planning. Find out how to avoid unwanted pregnancies, and then which household products might be able to cure cancer! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Want to land more acting roles in liberal Hollywood? It's simple! Tone down that whiteness and turn up the diversity. Follow Chandler's Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/chandlerjuliet Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"! Lyrics: Psaki/Biden We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China It was inauguration day We were getting ready and there wasn't a crowd at the mall Fences all over the mall China calls in per our mutual win Corn Pop! You telling this story, or am I? I'm sorry, Jen Psaki, go on! China says, "We don’t detain…" What’d those Chinamen tell us? “Uighurs, or start COVID strains.” Obama was a clean fella We’ll circle back another day Hunter took their pay, so they’re okay! We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China! Disney Hey! Grew to find a love of China silencing and censoring I will always pander to their editing and murdering I associate them with the sound of printing cash Got a gay kiss? It’s a miss with the Chinese Edit till we get it all approved by the commies Grappling with policies we couldn't understand Do you understand? Dr. Anthony Fauci 5 foot 7 frame Bat soup as a snack All my function gains Will all fade to black Can’t hear beagles’ screams Cause I surgically removed their vocal cords!We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China Eric Swalwell Fang Fang told me she really loved me, but the next day: GONE! John Cena 我会说一点普通话 Wǒ huì shuō yīdiǎr pǔtōnghuà 医生一清冲 Yīshēng qīngchóng Yvonne Tong When I asked the WHO about Taiwan my phone call went dead Chorus Your fate is sealed when your fortune cookie’s read! Xi Jinping I tell you that Taiwan and Hong Kong are in China and someday be mine I tell you that my power will grow like the dragon that fly through the sky(Yes, Xi Jinping is on his way) LeBron They told me that their slaves would make me some nice Nike jerseys If I shut up and dribble(It's like I hear him now) Xi Jinping U.S., I want not a sound out of you(It's like I hear him now, I can hear him now)Donald J. Trump Um, China... Yeah, about that China... I really told you all about China... I had the the truth and the whole truth, China (Donald Trump, you get out of here!) (Get off Twitter) Chorus Don't talk about China! Donald J. Trump I warned you all about China! Chorus Not a word about China! Donald J. Trump I really warned you all about China! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Host Adamina Yenser gives us the news of the week, like NASA sending nudes to aliens, protestors swarming Supreme Court justices' homes to demand they change their votes, and the world bids a tearful goodbye to the iPod. Watch the full podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1wH-TfzaRc Follow Adam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser Follow Adamina: https://linktr.ee/morganisawizard Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

In these pressing times, we have to carefully monitor what schools are trying to indoctrinate our kids into. Here are a few examples of dangerous propaganda being taught to our children. Join us in our effort to protect our younglings from this dangerous ideology. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

This man shared misinformation online, so the Ministry of Truth -- err, sorry, the Disinformation Governance Board -- detained him for questioning. Will he stand strong in the face of torture? Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Too many straight white men on your TV screen? Netflix is here to add more fun, color, and blatant sexuality to your families' lives. Here is a sneak peek at some of the exciting new programming coming soon to Netflix! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee is still in Twitter jail. For now, anyway. Is there hope for a jailbreak? Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Host Adam Yenser gives us the news of the week, including a Trump-appointed judge striking down the federal mask mandates, an Easter bunny is now telling the President what to do and where to go, and streaming services like Netflix and CNN+ are getting crushed. Watch the full podcast here: https://youtu.be/nurAH7Y2eRE Follow Adam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

So the mob is at your doorstep, ready to burn your house down over something you heard someone else say 20 years ago? Never fear! Follow these nifty tips to survive the cancel mob. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter's possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

Mike is a maskaholic, but today he takes the first step on his road to recovery.

Having difficulty staying afloat in today's rapidly changing economic landscape? Duke Geralt LéMaster provides some insightful tips to help you cope in these trying times. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Host Adam Yenser gives us the news of the week, including Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars, Epstein Island for sale, the NFL... being the NFL, and more! NOTE: We do not recommend Will Smith's film, "Wild Wild West." Watch the full podcast here: https://youtu.be/H_0rgDFFtmw Follow Adam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

In this internal meeting at Twitter, two new employees learn the ropes of who gets banned and who gets to stay on. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

This clever husband has found a way to avoid all his responsibilities: he just deflects blame onto Vladimir Putin. Smart! Follow Chandler's Youtube: https://www.YouTube.com/chandlerjuliet Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

This behind-the-scenes look at The Late Night Comedy Hour shows off an intense interaction between the late-night host and his writer, who's in trouble for writing a joke instead of a political lecture. Sad. Not good! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

These conservative satire writers are trying to come up with a joke, but liberals have already done every insane thing they can think of. Will they be able to outpace reality? "Satire has weakened in our epoch for several reasons, but chiefly, I think, because the world has become too absurd to be satirized.” - Gk Chesterton, 1911 Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

This woman is an angry feminist -- but she's quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee