Biblical Counseling Marriage & Family

Parents often have questions about spanking their children. What’s the purpose or what does it accomplish? Is it necessary? Isn't there a better way? Will it make your child resent you?

Reconciliation does not necessarily mean that everyone immediately forgets the past. Especially the one that was offended. Someone says, “I can forgive but I’m having trouble forgetting.” The Bible doesn’t say, “Forgive and forget.”

At some time or another everyone needs hope. They are experiencing problems. Problems as a consequence of their own careless mistakes or sinful behaviors. Or someone else’s mistakes or sinful behavior. They try to solve the problem but fail. Nothing seems to work. They lose hope.

Psychotherapy is considered to be a medical intervention. But is it? What do individuals, called patients and psychotherapists really do? They talk. Psychotherapy is a CONVERSATION between two people.

What is mental illness? In order understand mental illness we need ask “what is ordinary or bodily illness?” In other words, what do we mean when we say someone is ill?

What is the truth? Is sin, sin? If so, why do we sometimes call it sickness? If sin is sickness, why do we sometimes call it sin? Are we confused or just embarrassed to use the word sin Are we willing to trade biblical correctness for political correctness?

Nearly all marriage and family problems are the result of someone’s sinful behavior. Sadly, there has been a major shift in how believers view sinful behavior. Sinful behavior is now thought of in terms of sickness.

Paying attention is a difficult skill. The Bible teaches that ALL children have a NATURAL tendency to NOT pay attention. Teaching your children to pay attention should be a priority. What do parents need to know.

First Corinthians 7:5, “Stop depriving one another…” A husband and wife should never “deprive” one another of the sexual obligations God has placed on them. A lot of conflict many of which are about sex would be solved if husbands and wives were honest and use biblical principles in their relationship.

The guiding principle for husbands and wives is the sexual satisfaction of their spouse. Both are given the same command, both are responsible, and both can obey.

The primary goal of sex is giving. Giving sexual satisfaction to your spouse. This principle is taught in First Corinthians chapter 7. Paul describes the sexual relationship between the husband and wife. EACH has a responsibility. Paul speaks to husbands first and then wives. And what he says to one he says to the other. The same command is given to both husbands and wives.

Biblical principles of sex are rarely, if at all, taught in the home or the church. And that silence gives the impression that God doesn’t have guidelines for sexual relationships or sexual problems. That thinking has produced a lot of problems. Oftentimes, believers don’t deal any better with their marital problems than non-believers.

There are lot of misconceptions when it comes to marriage problems and their solutions. Oftentimes, a couple’s solution is not solution at all. For example, one of the most common false solutions is the idea that a troubled marriage can be PATCHED UP. The idea of patching up your marriage suggests that you don’t have very high expectations. God doesn’t settle for “patching things up”. He wants to take a bad thing and turn it into something very good.

How often have you heard someone say, “You can’t judge another person?” It’s usually when you’re trying to warn someone of some heretical teaching. Or when you want to confront someone for their sinful behavior. Interestingly, they rebuke you, telling you, you can’t judge, by quoting Scripture. They reply, “The Bible tells us not to judge. But does it?

Open and truthful communication is essential to a relationship. Communication between God and Adam and Adam and his wife Eve is what sustained their relationship. A breakdown in communication occurred when Adam sinned. His sin had a vertical effect. It effected his relationship with God. God no longer walked and talked with Adam in the Garden. But it also had a horizontal effect. It affected his relationship with his wife, Eve. Open and truthful communication is important for developing and maintaining the deep intimacy that God designed for the marriage relationship.

The loss of a parent or parents, whether you were a young child or an adult, can be a life-changing experience. Whether their death was unexpected or not an era has passed. Someone you have known longer than anyone else is gone. Their passing is a milestone that creates an emptiness; a vacuum that no one else can fill.

What is a manipulative child? Manipulation is an attempt to gain control by provoking an emotional response instead of a biblical response. A child manipulates a parent in order to get what he or she desires. The child sins by attempting to manipulate his or her parent. The parent sins when he or she responds emotionally to their child’s desire and not biblically.

God has given parents the duty of raising their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They are not given the prerogative of delegating that duty to schoolteachers, peers, or child-care workers. Parents must involve themselves in their children’s lives. Yes, it is time consuming. The difficulty comes when parents fail to follow the simple principles set forth by God. In neglecting their God given duty they forfeit the blessing inherent in parenting. That’s when parenting becomes a burden. A burden that God never meant for parents to bear.

There is nothing more perplexing at times than prayer. This is especially true when families are experiencing difficulty and crisis. They can’t control their situation as they believed they could under normal circumstances. Driven by a need, filled with hope and expectations, believers rush into prayer.

A child’s angry behavior is not the parent’s fault. However, parents can fuel the anger in their children. They need to exercise self-control as to not CONTRIBUTE to it. Identifying ways, you may be provoking your children is important.

Every person is either in a crisis, just came out of a crisis or is headed for a crisis. That’s what life is like in a fallen world. It’s true. At some point every person will face some type of crisis in their marriage or family. How a person reacts reveals a lot about their Christian faith.

Frank said to the counselor “I never thought our marriage would turn out like this.” His wife, Helen agreed. They were both hopeless, frustrated, and angry. Frank and Helen are like many couples. They start out madly in love. Everything’s wonderful. They decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. He proposes marriage. She accepts. Sadly, many couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations that oftentimes, lead to disappointment and difficulties.

I had a lady who came to me and said she has had an anger problem for over twenty years. She said, I’ll blow up at someone. I’ll feel terrible. I’ll call them on the phone and ask them to forgive me. Then I’ll get on my knees and ask God’s forgiveness. I’ll tell God that I am going to control my temper. And I will for a few weeks. Then I’ll find my self in a situation where I blow up again. And then she said, “I know what I’m doing is wrong. I know what God wants me to do. I don’t know how to change. Why do people, that want to change, keep repeating a sinful behavior? How can you help them change?

There are some common circumstantial reasons that individuals share as to why they commit adultery. While circumstances may influence a person’s decision, they do not CAUSE a person to commit adultery. There are several situations that contribute to a person’s fall into adulterous behavior. Being mindful of these temptations is important.

In the mid 60’s a remarkable event, related to a word, occurred in evangelicalism. The event would have a devastating effect on evangelism and the sanctification of believers. Yet, in spite of the destructive consequences, this event went unnoticed by many Christians, even to this day.