The Babylon Bee

The California Dream ain't what it used to be. In this parody of The Beach Boys' "California Girls", the Babylon Bee Boys express their yearning to leave the Golden State some day. Be sure to listen to this song on other platforms: Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/i-wish-we-all-could-leave-california/1639644585?i=1639644706 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/145XjJ2AGjpoAWbwAGdefO?si=f2d4185d353948d7 Amazon Music: https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0B9J9R728?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_IYa54qr2s0I1Qh3cG5QlNEe8t Lyrics: Well, SF's packed with feces, You gotta watch your step up there, And Los Angeles with all their homeless camps, The tents and drugs are everywhereIn Napa Newsom drops some 15 thousand bucks on wine But in the rest of the state with all the mask mandates, They keep us all locked up real tightI wish we all could leave California, now I wish we all could leave California, I wish we all could leave California, nowWell, Texas has more freedom, And pistol grips out there aren't banned I'd dig a Florida place with no mask on my face, And no income tax sounds grandI been all around this Commie state, And my time here's about spent Yeah, but I couldn't spot even one U-Haul lot That had a single truck left to rentI wish we all could leave California, now I wish we all could leave California, I wish we all could leave California, now (edited)

It’s clear that these two men are hateful, racist, misogynist bigots. But they’re wonderin’… maybe they ain’t? Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Trump, as we all know, is an existential threat to democracy itself! If we don’t destroy him, the unparalleled peace and prosperity Biden brought to America will be over for good! Oh no! Click here to make an URGENT donation to the KASH FOUNDATION: https://the-kash-foundation.revv.co/beevideo #shorts

The California Dream ain't what it used to be. In this parody of The Beach Boys' "California Girls", the Babylon Bee Boys express their yearning to leave the Golden State someday. #shorts Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"! Lyrics: Psaki/Biden We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China It was inauguration day We were getting ready and there wasn't a crowd at the mall Fences all over the mall China calls in per our mutual win Corn Pop! You telling this story, or am I? I'm sorry, Jen Psaki, go on! China says, "We don’t detain…" What’d those Chinamen tell us? “Uighurs, or start COVID strains.” Obama was a clean fella We’ll circle back another day Hunter took their pay, so they’re okay! We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China! Disney Hey! Grew to find a love of China silencing and censoring I will always pander to their editing and murdering I associate them with the sound of printing cash Got a gay kiss? It’s a miss with the Chinese Edit till we get it all approved by the commies Grappling with policies we couldn't understand Do you understand? Dr. Anthony Fauci 5 foot 7 frame Bat soup as a snack All my function gains Will all fade to black Can’t hear beagles’ screams Cause I surgically removed their vocal cords!We don't talk about China, no, no, no! We don't talk about China Eric Swalwell Fang Fang told me she really loved me, but the next day: GONE! John Cena 我会说一点普通话 Wǒ huì shuō yīdiǎr pǔtōnghuà 医生一清冲 Yīshēng qīngchóng Yvonne Tong When I asked the WHO about Taiwan my phone call went dead Chorus Your fate is sealed when your fortune cookie’s read! Xi Jinping I tell you that Taiwan and Hong Kong are in China and someday be mine I tell you that my power will grow like the dragon that fly through the sky(Yes, Xi Jinping is on his way) LeBron They told me that their slaves would make me some nice Nike jerseys If I shut up and dribble(It's like I hear him now) Xi Jinping U.S., I want not a sound out of you(It's like I hear him now, I can hear him now)Donald J. Trump Um, China... Yeah, about that China... I really told you all about China... I had the the truth and the whole truth, China (Donald Trump, you get out of here!) (Get off Twitter) Chorus Don't talk about China! Donald J. Trump I warned you all about China! Chorus Not a word about China! Donald J. Trump I really warned you all about China! Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

In case you needed further proof humanity is set on destroying itself, look no further than this new "science" that just came out. #shorts

Socialism isn't ALL bad. Here are 9 upsides you might not have considered. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=YT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Subscribe to our podcast channel: https://www.youtube.com/thebabylonbeepodcast The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Check out the deal for Private Internet Access here: https://privateinternetaccess.com/TheBabylonBee Kyle, Adam, and Jarret commune to discuss the inevitable destruction of the earth as a result of nuclear war, high gas prices (yes, this is still a thing), Rachel Levine being… a thing, and Obama getting COVID! Hilarious! This episode is brought to you by our friends at Faithful Counseling: https://faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee Check out PublicSq today by downloading the app on Apple or Android! Get some serious underwear for yourself at: https://getundertac.com/ A new edition of Babylon Bee Radio is hot off the air waves (is that a thing?). Austin uses his sensual voice to give you the fake news that really matters. Need more fake news? Check out headlines written by kids and some unsolicited headlines from the deep underdark that perhaps should never have seen the light of day. We also sit down with Patrick Newman to discuss government cronyism. Did you know the government has been corrupt since the beginning of time? Now you do!

Comedy legend John Cleese, who changed comedy forever with Monty Python, sits down to talk to guys from The Babylon Bee about being at a conference with a bunch of gun-toting rednecks and whether monkeys are funny. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee’s Adam Yenser brings you all the news of the week. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans?utm_source=PYT&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=description Listen to more Babylon Bee content with Bee Radio: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUu5jt0fuiT55J2KDStJwLw The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/babylonbeepod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBeePodcast

The new Title IX proposal protects women... with penises, that is. #shorts

The January 6th hearings ended in an epic fashion. Still, we came away from season one with several unanswered questions. Here they are, burning in our minds. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Astrophysicist Hugh Ross, the founder of Reasons To Believe, talks to The Babylon Bee about extraterrestrial alien life, UFOs, and the reasons from science to believe in the God of the Bible. They also talk about how faster than light travel would completely kill you dead. Check out Reasons To Believe at: http://reasons.org Look for Dr. Ross’ new book coming out soon, Designed To The Core: http://reasons.org/tothecore

JP Sears is on The Babylon Bee Podcast to talk about being comfortable in a women’s swimsuit, living his truth, and changing his mind on God. The nature of Satan and evil come up and also how to know if you are hearing God correctly. He also answers a brand new set of ten questions. This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom. ADF is standing for your freedoms, so stand with them by becoming a champion for freedom today: http://joinadf.com/bee Keep up with JP Sears: http://awakenwithjp.com

Host Adamina Yenser gives us the news of the week, like NASA sending nudes to aliens, protestors swarming Supreme Court justices' homes to demand they change their votes, and the world bids a tearful goodbye to the iPod. Watch the full podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1wH-TfzaRc Follow Adam on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser Follow Adamina: https://linktr.ee/morganisawizard Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee Podcast is back with Jarret, Chandler, Adam, and Travis talking about what’s new with them and with The Bee. The Israel-Hamas war is in the news and so is Derek Webb for wearing a dress to the Dove Awards. Please support The Babylon Bee by subscribing at: http://babylonbee.com.plans Every episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom. ADF is fighting for you, so will you stand up with them?: http://joinadf.com/bee

This Christmas, get the doll that will shame and terrify your children about the climate… Greta On The Shelf!

The Babylon Bee's Adam Yenser gives you all the news you need to know from the week like Donald Trump allegedly assaulting his driver on January 6th, Elmo getting his COVID vaccine, and how the states are responding to Roe V. Wade being struck down.

Megan Rapinoe and the US Women’s Soccer team have made history at the Olympics by not scoring a single goal to bring awareness to racism. Brave. Stunning. And other buzz words. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

The Babylon Bee Podcast is back to talk about Hunter Biden threatening Chinese business associates with the fact that he is sitting there with his father. NYC also wants to ban coal-fired pizza. Dumb! Does the coup in Russia last week explain how Putin is losing a war in Iraq? Maybe! The Babylon Bee also talks to Harrison about his legal battle to save his son. Help Harrison’s legal battle for his son: https://www.givesendgo.com/SAVINGSAWYER Weakly News with Adam Yenser, The Babylon Bee’s Bible Verse of the Week, and hate mail are glorious as always. This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out: PublicSq on Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.publicsq.app&hl=en_US&gl=US&showAllReviews=true&pli=1 PublicSq on Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/publicsq/id1573823343 Patriot Mobile: http://patriotmobile.com/bee2023 Samaritan Ministries: http://samaritanministries.org/thebabylonbee In the full-length subscribers-only podcast, the guys behind The Babylon Bee answer questions from subscribers such as “Why do you not laugh at my headlines?” and “Can Adam stop scowling when reading my headlines?” Subscribe today using promocode 'PODCAST' saving 20%: http://babylonbee.com/plans Use this special link to get 10% OFF anything in The Babylon Bee store!: https://shop.babylonbee.com/discount/PODCAST

Host Adam Yenser brings you the news of the week, including Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg losing oodles of money and a Canadian school board standing behind that teacher with the giant fake breasts. At least they're not standing in front of that teacher. Watch the full podcast at https://youtube.com/thebabylonbeepodcast Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee

Feminists say they want their uteruses to have the same rights as guns. Now, it's become a reality: women have all the same rights as your AR-15! #shorts

The Babylon Bee talks about the news on The Babylon Bee Podcast. They also talk about eternal truths like The Hobbit movies being so terrible that somebody needs to just start over from scratch. Watch the full podcast: https://youtu.be/U7NYfk9h3GU Follow our new podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabylonbeepodcast/ Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee